Rich Neighbors
by departedsoul13
Summary: Due to the location of her father's new job, Haruhi Fujioka ends up living in a neighborhood of the elite. And demon-worshipers, but they're an upgrade. To help pay for living there, the Fujiokas rent rooms to five teenage tenants. Tenants of the eccentric sort. With a ninja, the sons of Satan, a rising teen actress, and a soul reaper, Haruhi nearly misses the Host Club... Nearly.
1. A Regular Day

Summary:_Due to her father's new job location, Haruhi has moved into a rich neighborhood where one man owns the police force, a group of demon-worshipers plot, and the Host Club causes trouble anew. Of course, her tenants aren't much help in avoiding all this drama..._

+Tenants and neighbors from:

-Ao no Exorcist (Blue Exorcist)

-Bleach

-Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler)

-Naruto

-Ouran High School Host Club

-Skip Beat!

**Psst.** Characters will most likely be stereotypical and OOC. The former refers to using obvious traits (Haruhi's harshness, Kyoko's cheeriness, Naruto's catchphrase, etc.). This may wane as the plot progresses.

**EDIT** (3-28-16): I'm editing all of the chapters that are up so far (through Ch. 3). Not too much changed in this chapter, only some concision and formatting aspects.

* * *

~Rich Neighbors~

* * *

Chapter 1: A Regular Day in the Fujioka Household

* * *

"You're all going to Hell, bitches! Yeah, you too, lady, don't look at me like I'm fucking kidding. All of your souls will burn unless you heathens conform to the will of Jashin and ditch your disgusting sin and lust and shit!"

"Who is this guy?" A woman whispered to her companion as she shot the silver haired man an astounded look. "Is he for real?"

"I dunno." The man replied as they walked by, ignoring the man like everyone else. "He's always out here, though. I mean, not just this street corner; he goes all over the place preaching about his messed up god."

"Messed up?"

"His religion is frickin' _**murder**_."

* * *

"Hey, I'm home." Haruhi absently greeted the house as she wandered in through the entryway while getting rid of her backpack and shoes.

She looked around the kitchen.

"_Guess no one's home yet."_

She headed towards the kitchen's island to prepare a snack and make brief preparations for dinner.

"Ha-ru-hiiiiiiiii!"

Haruhi squeaked as a high-pitched voice squealed her name and an arm suddenly claimed her shoulders.

"Hi, Kyoko-chan."

A bit irritated, the first-year turned around to see her peer and tenant, Kyoko Mogami, who was currently beaming radiantly and emitting sparkles from her every pore.

Or so it seemed.

"Haru! I got the part!"

"Oh, that's good, Kyoko-chan."

"It is! I have finally earned a happy, positive, opposite-of-Mio role, and now I'm one step further in **crushing Shou Fuwa's every hope and dream**."

A demonic aura cloaked Kyoko as she cracked her knuckles and chuckled.

"Yo, I didn't know anyone else was ho-"

The tall redhead stopped when he laid eyes on the teen actress. "Yeah, nevermind." He mumbled as he spun around to leave.

"Oh, Ichigo-kun! Guess what!"

Kyoko snapped back to reality and dashed out of the kitchen after Ichigo.

Haruhi sighed and turned to the fridge.

"_Finally it's quiet."_

No sooner had she opened the insulated doors than she was proven quite wrong.

"Ha-ru-hiii!"

Grimace.

"Yo, Fujioka! What's for dinner?"

Growl.

"Oh, it's my darling daughter! Haruhi, my dear, would you believe that Papa got off early today? Kemi-san needed-"

Haruhi's father stopped as he saw two teenage boys storming through the kitchen and hounding his daughter.

"Hey, Haruhi, you're home early! Oh, if you see any Uchiha Police at the door, I'm not here, okay?"

"So Kuro was hoping that we could have some sashimi, but if you want I can help cook up something else."

"You!"

"Ah!"

"You evil bugs, quit attacking my daughter!"

Ranka thrashed his purse around, beating Naruto and Rin 'til they were on the linoleum floor with their hands over their heads.

"What the hell!"

"Hey! Dattebayo!"

"Oh, Haruhi, Papa's sorry he let such icky, disgusting creatures in. I'll be sure to tell the exterminators about this."

Ignoring the two boys, Ranka beamed at his daughter.

"Ugh, hey, Rin, Naruto, I could use a little help here…"

Heads turned towards Yukio Okumura who was struggling to move under a mountain of bags and boxes.

"Oh! My things! Took you a while, Yukio." Ranka added gruffly as he selected a few articles from Yukio's arms. "Look, Haruhi, Papa finally cleaned out his locker!"

"All of this was in your _locker_?"

"Shut up, Yukio."

"Yeah, Yukio, c'mon."

"Rin, go help him."

"What? Why?"

"Boys, do you like your rent?"

"Of course not! We're broke, orphaned high school students! We don't have paying jobs! Well, Yukio does but-"

"See, you're very fortunate. You're orphaned and high-risk yet I took you in."

"That damn Mephisto just put us with the lowest cost rent he could find!"

"Rin, didn't I say to help your brother?"

"Like hell I'm-"

"I said now!"

On cue, Ranka proceeded to beat the spawn of Satan with his purse once more.

"Ow! Okay, okay, damn it!"

Rin begrudgingly sauntered over to his brother where he took the entire load of crap like it was a mere lunchbox. "Where to..?" He unenthusiastically asked.

"My room, of course." Ranka replied, flipping his hair. "And don't touch anything! Especially my Zuka Club collection!"

"Alright, alright!"

With that, Rin stomped off mumbling to himself.

Yukio fixed his glasses.

"Um, was I interrupting something earlier?"

Naruto, Haruhi, and Ranka stared back at him.

"Hey, I dunno… What _were_ we doing..?"

"Naruto, didn't you say something about the Uchiha Police?"

Naruto's face fell.

"What? No! No way!"

He waved his arms in defense.

"Why would I ever mention them? I hate those guys! I mean-"

"Are you _trying_ to get that hottie down the street to hate us? Think we're low-life thieves? Ruffians? _**Poor**_?"

Ranka leaned in each suggestion. Naruto leaned back.

"Uh, no, but uh, they already think we're poor…"

"They? Naruto, who else have you driven from my once possible posse?"

"W-what?"

"I _said_-"

Haruhi grabbed some water from the fridge and left. This could take days.

* * *

"Underground indoor pool, huh?"

"Yep."

"It's…decent."

"Decent, you say? Have you seen the tropical fish? The waterfall? The specially designed sprinkler football field?"

Kyoya merely smiled in response.

"Oh, yes, they're quite nice."

"Nice?"

Sasuke slid down his sunglasses so he could look the demon king in the eye.

"Yes. Oh, and by the way, not that it has anything to do with anything, but did you know that the Hitachiins got a brand-new treehouse bar?"

Sasuke looked skeptical. Well, as skeptical as a prideful, half-stoic Uchiha teen heart-throb could.

"Where?"

Kyoya smiled.

"In their pool, of course. You know how they love jungle theme."

"Of course."

Sasuke slid his sunglasses back up and continued to recline poolside. Kyoya smirked triumphantly as he left.

* * *

"Underground indoor pool."

"What was that, Kakuzu-san?"

"They have a damn _underground __**indoor pool**_."

He ground his teeth as he pressed the binoculars even closer to his face.

"Wow! Fun! Do you think Deidara-senpai and Kisame-san and Zetsu-san and Tobi can go swimming there?"

"Damn. Indoor. Pool." Growled the older man, still crouching in the small space of the upper level attic.

"Oh, and Kakuzu-san can go too. But…can Kakuzu-san still go swimming?"

"Lined with _jewels_." He choked and clutched his heart.

"Ooo! Like jewels of the sea? Are there mermaids and fishies too? C'mon, Kakuzu-san! Let Tobi see too!"

The old man's breathing became labored and haggard.

"Get…Itachi…"

"Oh! Does Itachi-san like jewels? And swimming? No wonder he's with Kisame-san! Leader-sama is so smart!"

"Itachi…"

"You're right! Itachi-san is smart, too! Did you know? That show on TV said that Itachi-san is a prodigy! He was only seven when he-"

"Itachiiiiiii! Get up here right now!" Bellowed Kakuzu, still clutching his heart and binoculars alike.

After a few minutes, steps were heard on the wooden stairs below. Finally, as they drew nearer, the frame of Itachi Uchiha emerged from the staircase. As he usually did, he simply stared at Kakuzu. The man panted and motioned for his fellow criminal to come over by the small window.

Itachi crawled over to the duo, remaining stoic all the while.

"Hi, Itachi-san! Do you like swimming?"

"Why are we in the upper crawlspace?"

"Oh! Tobi and Kakuzu-san are playing spies!"

"Spies."

"Damn it, Uchiha, look at this!"

With a choked and strained sand-paper voice, Kakuzu thrust the binoculars into Itachi's chest. The prodigy grabbed them, pushed Tobi over, and stared out the window, looking around for whatever was oh-so-interesting.

"I'm sorry, what am I supposed to be looking at."

"Your house, damn it!"

Itachi moved the binoculars.

"I see. Sasuke redid the landscaping."

"That was eight months ago you idiot! Inside! Look inside!"

"I don't have the Byakugan, Kakuzu."

"Use the damn settings!"

After flipping through a few suspicious settings on the binoculars, Itachi was finally able to see into the house.

"Why is this a setting?" He mumbled.

"Oh! Tobi knows! Sasori-san said that Orochimaru-san put it on!"

A faint frown sketched itself on Itachi's face.

"Ignore him. I'm pretty sure these were Deidara's." Grumbled Kakuzu.

Itachi continued to investigate his former home.

"He's wasting his time at the pool. Pathetic."

"Look _closely_ at the pool, Itachi."

"It has a waterfall, fish, and a sprinkler football field. A little tacky and lacking, but it's Sasuke's choice how to decorate."

"That's not _all_, Itachi. Look at the pool. Look very, _very_ closely." Ground out Kakuzu, who was currently contemplating killing the Uchiha.

"Diamonds. Emeralds. Aquamarine. **Very **tacky."

He lowered the binoculars and looked at Kakuzu.

"I'm sorry my brother's decorating choices have offended you, Kakuzu. I, too, am disturbed but as he now owns the estate and-"

"Damn it, Uchiha- _I want those jewels_!"

Itachi merely stared back at the man.

"Think of all the money I'd get! I'd be set!"

Again, nothing.

"Itachi, why the hell didn't you take any of the money with you after you killed everyone?"

The murderer blinked.

"That would be disrespectful, Kakuzu. Robbing the dead? How low do you think I am?"

Kakuzu screamed. Tobi laughed.

"Murder is fine but theft is wrong?"

"I was raised differently than you, Kakuzu. I understand if you don't conceive my ways but in high society-"

"Damn it, Itachi!"

"Ow! Fuck!"

The one-sided fight was interrupted by a bang followed by a curse.

"Oh, great, he's back." Groaned Kakuzu.

"Shit! The hell are you world whores doing up here? Having some kind of shitty tea party?"

Hidan's head popped up from the hole in the floor where the staircase was.

"Yes. That's exactly what we come up here to do. Drink tea crouched up like monkeys."

Hidan scoffed as he rubbed his head where a bump was beginning to form.

"Damn straight. Glad you looked in the mirror."

A blood vessel popped in Kakuzu's forehead.

"Hidan-san! How did your adventures go today?" Tobi cheerfully asked before Kakuzu could strangle his roommate.

Hidan's face brightened.

"Oh! Well, Tobi, today I actually got a few people interested!"

"Itachi, look for the cops." Muttered Kakuzu to the Uchiha.

He raised the binoculars to his face again as Hidan proudly explained his evangelistic wins.

"Yes. They're in Sasuke's driveway."

"Not them! They're always there! Check by our house!"

"Hm. There are two heading across the street."  
"Shit…towards us?"

"And then she was like, 'Well, what if I'm not a virgin?' And I was like, 'Well, bitch, then you're fucking going to Hell!"

"No…They're headed towards…hm."

Itachi frowned.

"Where?"

"The Nine-Tails' house."

Kakuzu groaned yet was relieved.

"Good…as long as they don't arrest him."

"Don't get your hopes up."

* * *

"Alright, who was it this time?"

Yukio crossed his arms as he faced his housemates who were all seated at the kitchen table for dinner.

"For what?" Ichigo asked as he chewed.

Rin appeared next to him, carrying a hot ceramic container emitting steam.

"Oh, were those the cops at the door?" He asked as he carefully set the dish down on a potholder in the middle of the table.

"You didn't say anything, right?" Naruto asked with an awkward grin as he broke his chopsticks.

"What? Oh, that. No, those weren't the cops."

"Really? Then who was at the door?"

"Yeah, it's not like we get any visitors in this neighborhood." Rin pointed out as he sat down.

"Right… Well, this should explain things."

Yukio pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it.

"We were doorbell-ditched yet left with a clue. It says, 'Dear Neighbors and Haruhi,'"

Haruhi grimaced.

"'We've noticed that your yard was a bit bare so we took it upon ourselves to change that for the better.'"

"So they teepeed our yard?" Kyoko asked as she wound spaghetti around her fork.

"No…they didn't do that…"

"Hurry it up, Yukio! Keep reading!"

Yukio sighed.

"'So now you commoners are the proud owners of one of the most exotic pieces around. It's a real steal! Have fun!' It's not signed, but I think we can all guess who wrote this."

The faces around the table were blank.

"Hm…those guys at the drug house?" Asked Naruto.

"You mean the demon-worshipers?"

"Demon-worshipers? What?"

"Yeah, that house down the street with all the weirdos. Rumor is that they're demon-worshipers." Explained Ichigo.

"Wow. That's messed up." Chimed Rin in awe.

Yukio seemed to consider this as well.

"I don't think it's them." Haruhi said.

"Why not? They're freaks who love to mess with others, right? Freak people out?"

"Yeah, but we've barely talked to them or seen them. Anyway, this letter sounds annoyingly familiar."

Everyone stared at Haruhi in anticipation. She sighed.

"It's the Hitachiin twins."

Half the table groaned.

"Great, who's gonna convince the cops this time?"

"Can't those two grow up?" Huffed Yukio.

"Naruto! You drove them away from me, too?"

"What? No! I've never even-"

"You're sleeping in the garage tonight!"

"Ah! Hey, stop it, dattebayo!"

Naruto tried to shield himself from the mashed potatoes and rice being chucked at him.

"Dad, stop it. You're making a mess."

"Sorry, Haruhi!"

"So, Yukio, what did those two leave in our yard?"

The exorcist frowned.

"I think it'll have more of an impact if you all look at it."

The group looked at each other and got up from their chairs. They began to head out but were stopped by Ranka.

"Oh no you don't. Clear the table first."

"Ah, wait! I'm not done yet!"

Kyoko pleaded, shoveling rice in her mouth.

"How unbecoming for an actress." Snidely remarked Ranka, causing Kyoko to immediately stop.

"Right…"

"_Ah! Tsuruga-san would never do that! I'm failing to become like the god of acting!"_

Slowly, the teenagers cleared the table and stored the leftovers. Rin's dish was left on the counter for those who were still hungry.

"_Now_ can we go?" Asked Rin as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

Ranka nodded and they filed out of the house. The group stood on the pathway which led from the front door to the driveway. They stared.

On their lawn, an elaborate stone fountain sat bursting forth jets and streams of water from all over.

Their eyes grew wide.

No, not from awe of its majestic beauty, nor was it in response to the gravity-defying aquatic twists or even due to the amount of water usage.

The style.

The embellishments.

The detail.

_**The owner**_.

"That's…that's…"

"Holy shit that's the Phantomhives' fountain!" Rin exclaimed, spazzing out.

"Great. They're a few houses down, right? How do you know it's theirs? I've never seen it." Yukio questioned as he studied the costly lawn decoration.

"C'mon, little bro, even I can tell! It looks British!"

"I don't think that's the reason." Haruhi sweatdropped.

"Yeah, she's right. You can see a bit of their backyard from the second floor. Your room's not on the right side." Ichigo explained to Yukio.

"Oh, I see. So it goes in their backyard…"

"How did the Hitachiins get it out of Ciel's backyard?"

Everyone turned to Kyoko and agreed. The Phantomhive master had tight security despite the few servants he possessed. Even all of the cunning and money of the twins could not sneak past his watchful, perhaps paranoid, eye.

"Well, how they got it doesn't matter."

Yukio turned to the others.

"We need to put this back. And fast."

The teens nodded. Yukio faced Ranka who was studying the fountain a bit disinterestedly.

"Ranka-san, could you help be a lookout? You and Kyoko could quickly form a diversion in case we're spotted breaking into their backyard."

"Well, I suppose this would give me a chance to wear that new outfit of mine…"

The man clapped his hands and smiled brightly.

"Plus, that butler of theirs is gorgeous! Ah, my dream to be surrounded by beautiful people…It may be fulfilled for only a moment, but alas, at least I'll still have my darling Haruhi, Ichigo, and Kyoko-chan."

Ranka closed his eyes in dreamful bliss.

"Hey! What'd you leave out the rest of us for?" Demanded Rin.

"Oh, okay, Yukio, too."

"Hey!"

"Calm down, Rin. I'm going to need you, Ichigo, and Naruto to carry the fountain."  
"What? I can carry it by myself."

To prove such, Rin walked over to the device and hefted it up.

"See? No big deal."

"I know that, but I also know that you don't know your own strength and that you get easily angered."

"What? The hell's that got to do with anything? And I so do not!"

Yukio frowned in disagreement.

"Anyways, it'll be better to have those two, or at least Ichigo, helping you out."

"Hey!"

Naruto glared.

"So, lil' bro, what'll you be doing?"

"I'll go in front of you to make sure no one's there and to open the gate."

"Don't we need a key or an ID to open their gate?" Ichigo pointed out. "I guess we could climb the fence and then have Rin throw it over to us three…"

"No…we'll just have to pick the lock."

Yukio dug out a large set of keys from his pocket.

"Whoa! One of those doors goes to the Phantomhive backyard?"

"No."

Yukio finished sifting through keys to choose a single one. He held it up.

"Skeleton key."

"_I'll just leave before they notice I'm-"_

"Hey, Haruhi! Come back! Yukio hasn't given you your job yet!" Called Rin as Haruhi made her escape towards the house.

"Right. Haruhi, you'll be with us. If we get caught you can help me talk our way out of it or reason with them. We'll also need a rear lookout."

The scholarship student sighed. Even when she wasn't with the Host Club she was still be dragged out on bizarre missions.

"Ok, everyone ready? Let's go!"

Rin, Ichigo, and Naruto carried the unplugged fountain and quickly followed Yukio as they skulked down the sidewalk.

"Guys, get on the grass!" Hissed Naruto in the light of the setting sun.

"Why? They'll still see us." Haruhi pointed out as she ambled on beside them.

Really, they were a gang of teenagers hefting a huge-ass, expensive fountain down the street. It wasn't going to matter where they were at- it was pretty hard to miss.

After passing a few houses, Yukio slowed and became more cautious. Luckily, the Uchiha premises was void any loitering cops so they were completely undetected.

"Man, it's gettin' pretty late." Rin pointed out.

He looked around.

"Hey, have any of you guys seen Kuro? He's usually back in time for dinner but I still haven't seen him."

Naruto and Ichigo shrugged.

"I'm sure he's fine, Rin." Whispered Yukio as he approached the Phantomhive back gate.

He and Haruhi glanced around. No one. He walked over to the barb metal gate and wiggled his key into the keyhole.

"Hurry it up, Yukio." Naruto snapped, silence being his ultimate foe.

"Just a second, it's pretty secure…" The genius mumbled.

Rin groaned.

"Hey, wait!"

In response to Haruhi's yelp, Yukio turned around only to barely dive out of Rin's way as he, holding the fountain, charged through the gate screaming.

Yukio's face was an expression of pure horror. He quickly got up from the grass and ran into the Phantomhive backyard where his brother resided. A few meters away sat the gate.

"Rin!" Hissed Yukio. "Do you realize what you've done?!"

"Hey, you were taking too long."

"What if you broke the fountain? What if they heard us?"

"Calm down, man, geez. I kicked the gate down and even if they heard us, Kyoko and Ranka will be a great distraction."

He set the fountain down and rubbed his nose.

"Besides, I trust them."

Yukio growled at his brother's naivety and rashness.

"What's done is done. Least we have a way in now. No better way than to break in, I always say." Said Ichigo as he sauntered into the backyard nonchalantly, looking around as if he was merely visiting.

"That's right, dattebayo! Let's go!"

Haruhi groaned as she looked at the mess they had made. Though Yukio took her along because of her brains, she was pretty sure not even Ciel's butler could talk his way out of this, and that guy had a pretty smooth tongue.

"Alright, alright." Urged Yukio in a hush. "Just put it back where it belongs."

"You got it, little bro."

"Over there, in front of that tree, next to that flowerbed." Ichigo pointed out its placement as Rin picked up the fountain and journeyed across the yard.

Meanwhile, Naruto and Yukio dragged the gate back to its spot and leaned it against the brick pillars that had supported it.

Haruhi glanced around the huge yard which seemed to never end. One of the reasons they had gotten such a "good deal (AKA cheaper than the other multi-million dollar plus homes)" on their house was because they barely had a backyard. By barely, it was normal-sized. For most normal, common houses, it was fairly spacious. For this neighborhood, it was smaller than most bathrooms.

Their house was the odd one out. It was fairly modest, no fancy details or mediums in its structure. Just from sight it was close in size to the last apartment complex Haruhi had lived in. Despite this size and the spacious interior, with seven people living there it felt like a regular old two-story.

As she continued to scan the yard, her eyes stopped as she noticed movement near the house. She glanced back at the others. Yukio and Naruto were attempting to put the gate back on its hinges while Ichigo continued to instruct Rin. The spawn of Satan finally set the fountain down and shot Ichigo a thumbs-up and a grin.

Haruhi's eyes shot back to the mansion. She jumped. Before she could call out, the figure was suddenly in front of Ichigo. Its eyes glinted.

"And _what_ do you think you're doing here, _sirs_?"

The eyes flickered towards Rin who was behind it to its right. Ichigo instinctively threw a punch.

"Ggh…"

He clenched his teeth as the man caught his punch. The figure smiled eerily.

"May I ask why you stole our fountain?"

The figure's eyes landed upon Haruhi. She froze.

"Ichigo!"

Heads turned to face Yukio and Naruto who ran over to Haruhi.

"Let go of him, dattebayo!" Naruto launched at the figure and Ichigo attempted a kick.

Gone.

"Damn it, where'd he go?"

Ichigo rubbed his wrist and quickly looked around.

"Aaaahhh!"

A battle cry erupted from Rin who was charging at the man in the suit, now in front of him.

"Whoa!"

Swiftly, effortlessly, the man flipped Rin as if he were simply performing another household chore.

"Rin!"

Yukio rushed over but was stopped by Ichigo.

"Wait, something's weird about that guy…"

"**Mrrwaaawrrr**!"

"_Rin! Help!"_

Getting up, Rin scanned around for the voice calling his name. Finally, he saw a familiar figure in the crook of the man's arm.

"Kuro!"

The black cat squirmed and meowed frantically.

"_Rin! Help! He keeps petting me and staring at me! It's really weird!"_

"Damn you! Let Kuro go!"

Rin jumped to his feet and growled. The black haired man looked down at the cat and back at Rin.

"It's yours? You're taking awfully terrible care of it."

The butler glared sharply at him.

"Damn it, that's my friend you're holding! Let him go!"

Rin ran at the man again but was thrown aside. The man sighed.

"Anyways, I'm keeping this wonderful creature. You don't seem to understand the complexity and beauty of the feline nature."

"To hell with that! Give me Kuro back!"

Rin dashed at him only to be thrown forward, landing in front of Ichigo.

"Say, Kuro, do you want some tuna? I bought some just for you."

Sebastian smiled.

"_What? Tuna? Where?"_

Kuro eagerly looked around while mewing.

"Kuro!"

Sebastian chuckled as Rin called out to his pet.

"Don't worry, it's hidden in the fridge. You can have some in a bit."

"_Yes! Tuna!"_

"What? Kuro, don't listen to him!" Rin growled and then realized something. "Wait," he turned to Sebastian, "you can understand him?"

Sebastian stared at Rin in return, blinking and appearing a teensy bit surprised that the boy thought of that.

"What is going on out here?"

Everyone looked at the mansion's sliding door where a young boy donning an eyepatch stood.

"Ah, young master, these commoners stole our fountain."

"Like we'd want your damn fountain." Haruhi mumbled in a bad mood.

"You stole Kuro!" Yelled Rin.

Ciel raised an eyebrow.

"Kuro?"

Sebastian smiled and scratched his head a bit awkwardly.

"Well, yes, that is the name of this cat."

He motioned to the calm black cat in his arm. Ciel frowned.

"Get rid of it."

Sebastian's eyes shot wide.

"W-what?"

"I said get rid of that mangy beast. They're disgusting."

Sebastian fought a glare and stared seriously at his master.

"But, young master, cats are beautiful hunters, graceful yet powerful-"

"**Get rid of it**."

"The mice-"

"That's what we have Snake for. Him and all his merry little friends…"

Ciel seemed a bit repulsed as he thought over that certain servant.

"Sir-"

"Damn it, Sebastian, it's an order!"

The demon frowned and glared at his master bitterly.

"Yes, my lord, I understand."

Reluctantly, he crouched down and held Kuro's paw.

Staring earnestly into his eyes he promised, "Don't worry. I'll see you again. Then…then we'll have that tuna."

Kuro meowed, slipped his paw away, and ran over to Rin, immediately hopping on his shoulder.

"Okay, now that we have everything, let's get going." Ichigo announced as they began to leave the yard.

"We're not done here." Ciel said icily. "Didn't you steal my fountain?"

"No, the Hitachiins stole it. We were merely returning it." Yukio explained.

Ciel frowned.

"Hitachiins."

"You know it was them. Obviously it would take a miracle for the only ones capable of the theft in our house to remain silent and stealthy."

Ciel relaxed at Haruhi's words.

"Yes. It was certainly the Hitachiins. No impoverished idiot could steal from me so easily. Sebastian."

"Coming, master."

The duo disappeared into the mansion, cuing the others to make a quick get-away before they returned or decided to punish them.

Thus, they all went home in one piece.

* * *

Something random I came up with, actually inspired by another fanfic idea of mine.

-Yep, I know. Ranka's Death Scything. Don't know why or how it happened but it did. I also need to keep him worshiping beautiful people in a non-confusing way.

-Changes in characters that happened in their storylines are near nonexistent here. Some will stay bitter, others bubbly, many alive.

* * *

***Thanks for reading!***


	2. Life's Failures

**EDIT** (3-28-16): Edited for concision and formatting.

**EDIT** (11-12-16): Chapters 2-5 will be establishing the characters and their roles in this society. I decided to slowly flesh out the world since knowing the characters' places and relationships is important for the story, and doing it all at once might be a bit overwhelming due to the amount of characters/ different stories.

If you're really indifferent to this, you can skip chapters 2-5 (mainly 3-5) and start at chapter 6, where the plot officially starts. You might miss a bit, but I'm sure you'll be able to get the feel of everything.

Thanks for stopping by!

* * *

Chapter 2: Life's Failures

* * *

"Damn it, art is a bang! Why don't people get that, hm?"

The door slammed shut as Deidara stormed into the house, his ponytail thrashing wildly behind him. Calmly and indifferently, Itachi looked up from his newspaper to watch the blond make his way towards the stairs and stomp angrily away.

"What was that? Failed sculpture again?"

The prodigy looked back at his newspaper as the man munching on an apple behind him eyed the stairs with a sharky grin.

"Presumably."

Kisame chuckled.

"Speaking of which, avoid Red Riding Hood too."

Though he received no response, Kisame intuitively sensed a sigh leaving the Uchiha's mind. Again, he chuckled before making his way back into the kitchen.

* * *

"But, Sasori-san-"

"No 'buts,' Tobi. I need you to tell me **right** _**now**_."

Tobi whimpered and looked up, only to squeal when he discovered the doll maker's face only inches from his own, an intense, unblinking stare fixed upon him. Immediately, he looked back at the floor, where dozens of skinny plastic dolls lay. Eyes still on his prey, Sasori picked up a bleach blond figurine.

"How about this one. What's wrong with her."

"N-nothing."

Sasori's eyes narrowed and he set the doll back down on the carpet. He leaned back, still sitting criss-cross-applesauce across from a highly fidgety Tobi.

"Alright, Tobi, tell me; what do you look for in a doll."

Tobi perked up.

"Oh! Pretty eyes and a smile and nice soft hair and-"

"What else? Skinny? Fat? Movable limbs? Concealed weapons?"

Sasori was scribbling down Tobi's words verbatim with a sudden mad vigor.

"Weapons?"

Tobi laughed.

"Silly, Sasori-senpai! Dollies don't have weapons! Unless you mean toy weapons like the Ninja dollies do!"

Sasori's head jerked up and again a terrifying stare was subjected upon the masked man.  
"Ninja dollies?"

* * *

"Excuse me, are you hiring?"

"Oh? Well actually we-_eek_!"

The man screamed as he turned around.

"U-um, no, no we're not, I'm s-sorry. Goodbye!"

With that he shoved Ichigo out from under his roof and fled to the back of the store. Ichigo sighed and scratched his head.

"_That's the third guy who's given me that reaction… What's up with these people_?"

He glanced down at the wrinkled newspaper he was holding and crossed yet another job ad out in marker. He looked around the street. Quite a few of the businesses were aimed towards female shoppers, crossing those off his list instantly. All of the market shops he had stopped at, unfortunately including this one, refused him.

Furthermore, the one man who had taken an interest in him was immediately turned away by his short resume. When asked about his previous job he could only offer spotty details, considering the fact that he barely worked and it was one, for a crazy woman, and two, for an odd-job service.

When questioned about his volunteering, he realized that no one would believe 'exorcising' as a legitimate service in which the public was desperately in need of having. Thus, Ichigo Kurosaki continued his afterschool search for a job.

Continuing down the street, he noticed a sign in a store window that stuck out to him.

"DYED HAIR OK"

Instinctively, Ichigo ran his fingers through his hair. Was that why no one would hire him? They thought he was some punk kid with dyed or bleached hair? While feeling hopeful, Ichigo remembered to check what store was so accepting. He deadpanned.

"_SIX PATHS PIERCINGS AND TATS_"

"Yeah, of course…" He mumbled as he glanced around, suddenly feeling pretty out of place.

Sure, saving both the worlds of the living and the dead was no problem. Playing goalie during the final PKs of a national game? No big. Beating up an entire armed, belligerent gang? He did it on the daily. But tats and piercings? Not exactly something he was acquainted with...

As he considered leaving, a bell rang and caught his attention. A red haired man with plenty of face piercings exited the store and picked up a box sitting in front of the window. His eyes stopped on Ichigo, who attempted not to overreact.

"Want somethin'?" Asked the man gruffly.

Before Ichigo could respond, the redhead kicked the door back open and glared at the teen. Seeing no other options and having no legitimate reasons to leave at hand, the teen ventured forward.

"Uh, thanks."

* * *

Naruto grumbled and kicked the ground as he sauntered home. School had ended over an hour ago but due to his detention and Sasuke Uchiha he was stuck out on the road.

"_Ooooii! Sasuke!" _

_Naruto ran across the lawn and towards the parking lot where a dark blue Rolls Royce sat with its engine running. Girls were gathered shamelessly around the car, gazing and giggling at its stoic, stick-up-his-ass driver. _

_Said driver spared the blond a thought only when he had slammed his hands down on the door after barreling out of the school. Then, the delinquent leaned forward eagerly and began yelling in his ear. _

"_Oi! Didn't ya hear me? Whatever." _

_Naruto laughed and stopped leaning on Sasuke's car. The Uchiha stared at where the blond's hands had been and grimaced. Smudges. _Naruto Uzumaki _smudges. _

"_What do you want, Naruto?" He bitterly and disinterestedly asked. _

_Naruto grinned brightly._

"_Hey, Sasuke, think you can give me a ride home? It's gettin' pretty late and I have a lot of stuff to do so…" _

_Sasuke continued to stare at the teenager from behind his designer shades. The girls around them were snickering and reprimanding Naruto._

"_Narutooo! Stay away from Sasuke!"_

"_Ow! Sakura-chan!" _

_Naruto rubbed his head where Sakura had punched him. _

"_C'mon, Sasuke, can't you-"_

"_Find your own ride home, _loser_." _

_With that, Sasuke sped out of the parking lot leaving Naruto, squealing fangirls, and the smell of tires behind. _

"Grr…That damn Sasuke!"

The blond kicked a vending machine in his anger. Huffing, he checked his surroundings. Fortunately, he could see the skyline of his hometown. He inhaled deeply and then screamed.

"I'm gonna beat the shit out of Sasuke Uchiha! Dattebayo!"

Then he dashed full-speed down the sidewalk shouting.

* * *

Like Naruto, Haruhi was walking home from school after her ridiculous club meeting.

Today, Tamaki insisted upon a superhero theme which Haruhi wouldn't have minded if the plan didn't involve her in a dress, skits, toy weapons, a video of them doing good works, and some far-fetched scheme about understanding common folk and their deep need to be the impossible or feel that anyone can be powerful and good-looking.

With a smile, Kyoya rejected it upon grounds of, "Lack of clientele interest."

Interestingly enough, each member heard something different out of that phrase.

"_This is stupid."_

"_Like you'll ever see me in tights or acting like some snot-nosed brat."_

"_We're already powerful and good-looking, any more could be a crime. Any less, like your plan, is a French funeral for one."_

"_The scum of the earth will get my help when Hell freezes over."_

"_I'll kill you in your sleep, Tamaki."_

Even so, Haruhi was thankful that she would not live through the trauma of seeing Kyoya portrayed as a just, kind, selfless person (Everyone else had that same thought. Of course, upon hearing Tamaki's suggestion, they imagined Kyoya as the villain. However, no one was stupid enough to say that to his face.). Now, she was able to walk home calmly, undisturbed, at peace, and without any rich annoyances.

"Hello, Haruhi."

The girl looked to her left and saw none other than the villain himself, sitting behind the wheel of a, possibly symbolic, red Lyonheart convertible. More than anything she was surprised he stopped. Kyoya drove himself to school out of pure pride and as a means to avoid Tamaki. He wasn't friendly and made a point to avoid those beneath him.

AKA, he was the reason she showed up to school thoroughly soaked in puddle water one irritating April morn.

"Hi, Kyoya. Did you need something?"

The teen continued to smile.

"No, nothing really. Just wondering what it was like."

"What _what's_ like?"

She knew she didn't want to know, but she asked anyways.

"You know. Walking. Having to spend time and energy heading home. It must be disappointing."

"Walking?"

"Oh no, well, that too, but you know… You don't have to be so modest."

"Sorry, I _don't_ know."

Kyoya frowned.

"Hm, I always thought you were smart, Haruhi. One of the reasons I stoop to interacting with you. You have interesting ideas."

"Thanks."

"Of course. But it really is a shame you have to manage through life living in that rat hole with a bunch of criminals."

"Only a few, and it's not a rat hole. More like a watering hole. One for hungry, teenage elephants."

Kyoya chuckled.

"Sure." He murmured. "Look at the time, I have a family meeting soon. See you around, Haruhi."

Screeching wheels warned her of the burnt tire smell that entered her lungs. Coughing, she watched Kyoya speed away.

* * *

"_What the hell is up with your eyes?_"

The soul reaper fought back that exclamation as he stood in the store, waiting for the man to return. The longer he was there, the more he was reminded of the Twelfth Division and their highly disturbing experiments.

Sure, it looked innocent enough, no organs in canisters or bloodstains, yet Ichigo sensed something off. A strange reiatsu? No…but he had a bad feeling. Even so, he had given the man his resume. He was pretty desperate.

"Alright."

Looking up, the older man was behind the counter on Ichigo's left.

"I talked it over with my partner. You're hired. For now." He added quietly.

"Really?"

He was genuinely surprised. He was an unqualified, inexperienced high school student, after all.

"_I better not be a human experiment_." He thought warily.

"Yeah, one of our last workers left pretty suddenly. He was in charge of sanitation. Think you can manage that while we look for someone more suited?"

The man didn't seem too enthused about hiring the teen but Ichigo couldn't care less.

"_Thank God I'm getting paid_."

His mind was at peace as he closed his eyes thankfully. He opened them and looked the man in his ring-filled eyes. He flashed his hero grin.

"Definitely."

* * *

It was the end of the day. Pain was tired from a hard day's work and was anticipating relaxing in the easy chair he had commandeered from Kakuzu. Of course, he knew far too well what reality would hold.

Tiredly, he opened his front door and was met with the ear-splitting shrieks that only deranged artists could make. A glare on his face, hands over his ears, he headed in to see who took who's glitter paint or Barbie doll this time.

"You don't even know how hard I worked on it!"

"You threw it together, no wonder the gallery didn't like it. Anyways, they look for reputable, _everlasting_, works of art."

"Like what, _this_?"

On the stairs, Deidara shoved forth a small plastic doll for all to see. In the living room, Sasori's eyes narrowed.

"Where did you get that?"

Deidara smirked evilly.

"Oh, you know, **Tobi**."

Sasori winced and knew he should have locked the masked man in his closet rather than bribe him.

"He was running around with it and then decided to show me what 'a _pretty dollie_ Sasori-senpai' was making."

A loud guffaw came from the kitchen. In sauntered Hidan, grinning while he threw chips in his mouth.

"Damn, Pinocchio, still makin' dolls?"

Sasori glared at him. Meanwhile, Deidara flipped his hair back triumphantly as he headed downstairs.

"Face it. True art is fleeting, instantaneous. Something so quick is impossible to catch forever. It is beautiful and elusive."

Sasori rolled his eyes as he opted to sit down on the couch in front of the TV and coffee table.

"Why should I take advice from a teenager who tries getting Play-Doh next to Picasso?"

Deidara growled.

"My art is nothing to make fun of, yeah. And I'm not a teen, but I'd rather look a little young than be a forty-year-old man who had surgery to look like he's twelve."

Cue hair flip and smug smirk from blond. Hidan whistled and laughed, hopping the couch to sit next to Itachi.

"Goldilocks has a fucking point!"

Another glare from the redhead. A throat clearing towards the doorway caught everyone's attention. There stood Pain, sick of their squabbling and considering putting doses of rat poison in certain people's cereal boxes.

"Leader-sama!"

"So both of you still suck at art."

Both artists cringed but bit back remarks.

"It's come to my attention that you're beginning to fall behind on your rent, Deidara."

The blond's eyes shot wide open.

"What? Well, I can catch up, hm? No big deal… I'll get some money soon..!"

Though he tried to sound reassuring, everyone could see the hesitancy in his eyes.

"Also, Sasori."

The rinnegans landed on the redhead.

"I don't mind your stupid hobby, as long as it doesn't distract you from anything else."

Sasori nodded. At that moment, Kakuzu decided to join the mob in the living room.

"What was that about Sasori's hobby?"

He raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Uh, nothing!"

Deidara held his hands up, not in the mood for hearing another one of the greedy man's lectures.

"So he's making dolls again, huh?"

No one replied. Kakuzu frowned.

"Don't waste your money. You failed at that years ago. Stick to plastic surgery."

With that oddly short remand, the older man ambled towards the door to put on his coat.

"Where's an old fucker like you go at this time of day?" Sneered Hidan.

Kakuzu glared.

"Some people die, you dumbass."

"Hey, Deidara, if you want to pay rent you could always go steal body parts from the dead with Kakuzu." Calmly offered Sasori.

"Like hell! How messed up do you think I am, hm?"

"Who said I steal body parts? A coroner autopsies a body and finds the C.O.D- cause of death. I do what others don't want to."

"That doesn't explain the severed leg I found in the garage freezer."

Everyone stared at Itachi. Pain shot Kakuzu a glare.

"What? That's not mine! Zetsu took it, I swear!"

"Though he's a tight-ass, that sounds legit." Added Hidan reluctantly. "He always sells what shit he steals first thing. Zetsu brings his fucking finds home."

Everyone stared at Kakuzu, suspicion still lingering.

"Well…I best be going." He grumbled, tugging his coat on all the way. "Oh and uh, don't touch that leg."

The door slammed and he was gone.

"Wait, what?"

Deidara blinked and the door reopened. Kakuzu's head popped in.

"You…you know. Cuzza the cops and stuff…Across the street…Yeah."

Another slam and this time the money hoarder was gone for reals. Deidara's face fell.

"Yeah, 'cuz the Uchiha Police would definitely suspect us, hm. Didn't they stalk a little girl last week?"

"Wow, Itachi. Your brother's fucked up."

Itachi merely nodded as he browsed through a magazine.

"He lacks hatred."

"He lacks _many_ things, Itachi."

Sasori got up and headed up the stairs.

"Wait, we need to discuss progress tracking the Bijuu."

Sasori stopped and sighed.

"Later. I have a meeting with the Ohtoris."

Hidan shrugged.

"Yeah, that bastard's gone so I don't have anyone to pay attention."

Pain turned to Itachi and opened his mouth.

"It would be rude to work without Kisame, Leader-sama. I must respect his presence or, rather, his lack of presence at this moment."

Pain sighed and headed towards his room to go over what _else_ they weren't accomplishing.

* * *

Here's some more exposition! Really, the only nice rich kid in this story is Tamaki, who everyone hates, even though he hasn't even shown up yet. Fear not! There are plenty of plans for him and the rest of the Hosts! Sorry, Haruhi. There may actually be a plot involving the rich and the demon-hunting? What?

Wanna tell me how ya really feel? Go for it! Feedback of all different kinds is great.

~Thanks for reading!~


	3. The Best Laid Plans I

**EDIT** (3-28-16): Made edits to the format and grammar, etc. Also edited some content. Not necessarily important important, but I suppose it's a good mentioning or foreshadowing.

**EDIT** (11-12-16): Like stated in the previous chapter, chapters 2-5 will be fleshing out the world of "Rich Neighbors." Chapters 3-5 introduce the other series' influences and characters prevalent in the story.

I suppose you could say 1-5 are a prologue to the plot.

Like I said last chapter, you could skip ahead to chapter 6 for your convenience. You might miss a few later references, but things should make sense.

* * *

Chapter 3: The Best Laid Plans of the Rich and Desperate I

* * *

It was Saturday morning, and Pain strolled downstairs to find Kisame and Hidan wrestling on the floor, the former suffocating the priest in a headlock. Indifferent to the commotion of cussing and provoking, Sasori was "studying" kids shows while Tobi merrily watched curled up on one of the couches.

Looking around, Pain saw no one else to break up the fight until Itachi walked in from the kitchen, a cup of freshly brewed coffee in hand. Unfortunately, the Uchiha merely glanced at the duo as one would a sleeping dog before he headed toward the couch.

"Itachi, break those two up. We can't afford any more domestic violence calls."

The man stared at his leader before heading back to Kisame and Hidan.

"One sec, Itachi-san. Lemme make him pass out first." Growled the blue man with a grin.

Hidan glared.

"Like you could ever make me pass out, bitch." He hissed, clearly losing oxygen.

Pain watched, fearing Itachi would comply, only to see the stoic man dump his fresh coffee on the wrestlers and indifferently leave. Screaming and hissing, the two immediately broke apart.

"Itachi-san!" Yelled Kisame as he tried drying his neck off.

Hidan was covering his eye, jumping about and cussing.

"Damn it, Uchiha, that fucking hurt! Agh, it fucking got in my goddamn cuts! Not to mention my fucking eye!"

Itachi picked up a magazine from the coffee table and began reading.

"When you're done bitching, don't forget my coffee."

Kisame and Hidan frowned, the latter flipping him off as well.

Pain finally descended the stairs, heading toward the kitchen to get some coffee as well. However, something caught his eye and he stopped once more.

"Itachi, where did those magazines come from?"

"Could you be more specific?"

"We aren't subscribed to any magazines… So who-"

Hidan smirked.

"Oh, those? We take 'em from the Uchihas, Phantomhives, and Suohs. We have this cycle for the whole neighborhood."

Pain selected a magazine from the coffee table and scrutinized its address. Sure enough, the Phantomhives were missing their surely beloved issue of…Pain's eyes drifted to the title. _All-Cat Weekly_. Shaking his head, the leader ignored their theft and continued on his way.

"Pain, there's a problem."

While pouring coffee, the ginger was again assailed by issues. To his left stood Konan.

"Which is..?"

"Many of the members are falling behind on their tasks and rent."

"What?"

Pain's eyes narrowed.

"I've summoned the rest of the organization to hold a meeting."

"When?"

"Now."

Pain groaned.

* * *

"Haruhi, why do you keep moving around like that?"

Haruhi froze.

"Like what?"

Ichigo sighed and hefted the large vase he was carrying.

"It's obvious you're hiding from something or someone. You keep darting behind me."

"Well, I'm not really looking forward to this. I know that those idiots will be there. Plus, I don't trust those guys at all."

Jabbing a thumb behind her, Haruhi picked out Rin and Naruto, both talking loudly and energetically as they sauntered down the sidewalk.

Ichigo smirked knowingly.

"They can't cause too much trouble; Yukio'll be with 'em."

"Right. Where'd you get that vase anyway?"

Ichigo shrugged.

"Ranka told me to take it. I think it was his boss's and he was told to sell it."

Haruhi sweatdropped. Leave it to her dad to push his work problems onto others.

"So you'll be running a booth?"

This prospect worried her a bit as, unbeknownst to the ginger himself, Ichigo had quite the bad reputation due to his street fights.

"Hell no. I'm dropping this off at a friend's shop where he'll sell it and give us the money, minus a small cut. That's better than sitting around all day, right?"

Haruhi nodded, satisfied with Ichigo's logic.

"Guys, look!"

A yell from Rin incited the duo to look ahead of them where, sure enough, the True Cross Convention Center sat.

"Finally! I'm starving! Sometimes I wish we had a car."

Though Naruto's perpetual hunger was annoying, Haruhi shared his wish for a car. Ranka borrowed one of his coworker's vehicles when he could, but even then only he could use it. Unfortunately, this left the rest of the gang to hitch rides to school, bike, or walk either the whole way or to the nearest train station.

The group slowly entered the building, passing twin statues of Mephisto Pheles, and finally emerged into the main area. Even as early as they had come, the center was packed with the loud buzz of shoppers and onlookers selling, chatting, and bartering.

"Alright," Called Ichigo to the others over the roar, "I'm gonna drop this off at my friend's. Meet you at the statues around four."

The other three nodded and went their separate ways.

* * *

"God, is all you do bitch?"

Hidan, annoyed and in disbelief, gawked at Deidara as he reclined on the couch during their meeting. The criminals and roommates had gathered in the living room much to Konan's joy and their irritation.

Deidara rolled his eyes from his spot on the floor.

"Have you heard yourself speak? I may bitch, but at least I don't act like one."

Hidan growled, pearly whites bared.

"You fu-"

"Anyways," Declared Pain, cutting the priest off, "I've uncovered a good location for Kyuubi-tracking."

"Um, Leader-sama? Isn't the Kyuubi only Itachi-san and Kisame-san's job?" Asked Tobi with a raised hand.

For once, the others agreed with him. Pain sighed.

"Yes, it is, but since progress has slowed lately, I figured we should zero in on the target closest at hand."

"There are two targets left. I'm assuming this intel is only for Itachi and Kisame, then, while the rest of us are divied up to capture the remaining target." Sasori said.

"Good observation as usual, Sasori. However, while Itachi and Kisame put all their efforts into the Kyuubi, I need the rest of you for intelligence and funding."

"I have the feeling 'intelligence' refers to more than observing the Eight-Tails," Deidara said with a pout.

Pain nodded.

"I was hoping Kisame would have tackled the Nine-Tails already, as he would be the best match for Killer B. Right now, aside from watching Killer B's movements, I need all of you to monitor True Cross Academy and the highest political realms. Though many of your targets will seem unaware, keep a close guard up. Also, the Lightning region is the only area we haven't gotten into bad terms with, so try not to draw too much attention."

At the end of this, Pain shot a glare at Hidan.

"Well sorry for being born in some goddamned village two-hundred miles out..!"

"What was that about bitching, Hidan?"

"I wasn't bitching, _bitch_, I was being sarcastic."

Konan ignored him and turned to Pain once more.

"Back to what I was originally saying, aside from Killer B, the other target is an orphaned teenager living three houses down. Why the hell haven't we caught him yet?"

No one spoke up.

"Itachi, Kisame?"

The duo looked at each other.

"Well, Leader-sama," Started Kisame, "It's because Naruto's so close that we're having such trouble. He's pretty bold and loud, so people would know if he went missing. He also lives with six other people. And…"

"And _what_, Kisame?"

The blue man averted his gaze with an awkward grin.

"He's also friends with Itachi-san's brother."

Pain stared at the blank-faced Uchiha, who sat on the floor in front of Kisame, leaning against the couch.

"Itachi," He tersely began, "I need you to ignore your hatred for your brother and capture his friend, okay?"

Itachi blinked.

"With all due respect, Sasuke isn't necessarily the problem. He controls the police force, knows my face, and has access to all of our records. We are all criminals living false lives. If Sasuke even glimpses the end of my ponytail, he'll overreact and shoot that spot."

"So what you're saying is…"

"He has a point, Leader-sama. Sasuke and Naruto are around each other too often for Itachi-san to go after the latter. Also, everyone in this area knows Itachi-san's face. You remember that's why he has to stay inside so often, right?"

Pain sighed.

"Yes. I know. Meeting adjourned; as usual we made no progress."

Konan crossed her arms.

"Even so, we still need to address the rent issue."

"Right! I'm looking for a better job!" Declared Deidara.

"Instead of art, why don't you try MgRonalds?" Asked Sasori.

"What's that supposed to mean, hm?"

"Nothing. Just that you really need a job so you should broaden where you're looking."

"Sasori has a good point, Deidara. However, that goes for you and Hidan as well."

"Jashin-sama's service is reward enough." Recited Hidan satisfactorily.

Kakuzu scowled.

"At least take an offering or something…Religion's a gold mine."

"Hey, what about Tobi? Does he have a job?"

The group stared at Tobi. Deidara had a point.

"Zetsu pays for Tobi's rent."

"What does Zetsu do?"

"Something involving plants and counseling, I think. I don't remember, it might involve old people."

"What the hell? How shady is that?"

Like Deidara, the other Akatsukis looked rather hesitant or appalled.

"Look, are any of you planning on getting well-paying jobs?"

Deidara shrugged while Hidan held an expression of haughty disbelief.

"Like fuck."

Inhale. Exhale. Squeezing his eyes shut, Pain did this exercise a few more times before opening them.

"You know what? Good for you. You're fired."

Hidan raised an eyebrow.

"How the hell are you gonna fire me, whore? I know all your secrets."

The other members stared at Pain, waiting for his response.

"I was delusional. You can stay, but only in the house if you get a job."

"What? Are you shitting me? Are you saying I'm supposed to shack up in a dog house in the back-fucking-yard or something?"

Over a few muffled laughs, Pain sternly nodded.

"I'd better get a job fast…" Mused Deidara.

"You could always check out the regional fair going on at the True Cross Convention Center today." Chimed Sasori as he flipped through a magazine.

"What?"

"Right, there's some sort of regional or neighborhood market happening. There's a lot of selling, but it has different attractions, too." Added Kisame. "I'm sure they'll have employers as well."

"So there are job opportunities and they're selling things?" Asked Pain.

Kisame nodded.

"Yep. A lot of people go to it, so I'm sure things will be pretty decent."

Pain remained silent for a few moments, looking the group over, before replying.

"That's it. Since Deidara's broke and the Kyuubi may be there, we'll go to the convention."

"Yay!" Cheered Tobi.

"I want everyone to stay out of trouble today and enjoy themselves. Since you get this break, I expect your work to be even better next week."

A few groans sounded from the men.

"Oh, and Itachi and Kisame? Your objective is to track the Nine-Tails."

Kisame frowned.

"I don't expect you to capture him, but I want you to report solid details about him and his habits that will help us in the future."

Kisame nodded and the group moved to rise.

"Alright, let's go."

* * *

"Yo, Urahara, it's me."

Entering the small gazebo, Ichigo looked around. Multiple bins containing the Urahara Shop's merchandise sat around the interior as a table with a white tablecloth draped over it held the cash register and a sign akin to the one pinned on the gazebo's exterior which proclaimed the store's name.

"Oh, Ichigo, I heard you'd be stopping in."

Tessai entered from the back of the gazebo, his height troublesome in the small tent.

"Right. Kisuke said I could leave this with him and he'd sell it for me."

Tessai nodded.

"Alright, I'll take care of it. How are things going?"

Ichigo handed the man Ranka's vase.

"Eh, could be better. I haven't gotten any jobs lately so I'm trying to look for a normal one."

Tessai nodded as he stuck a white price sticker on the vase.

"The job market's pretty bad lately, huh?"

"Yeah, crime's really impacted the willingness of employers to hire others. Like that infamous case from the Waterfall region with that old man who killed his bosses and embezzled. Stuff like that is what freaks people out."

"True. Even in Soul Society, times are hard."

Ichigo nodded.

"Seriously. Alright, I'd better get going if I want to eat before three. Thanks again."

With that, Ichigo left.

* * *

"Rin! It's Ichiraku!"

"What? That famous ramen shop you always go to?"

"Yeah! C'mon, let's go!"

Rin looked over at the long line trailing out of Ichiraku Ramen's tent.

"I dunno, man, it looks pretty busy."

Nevertheless, the duo approached the line.

"Hey, Naruto, is that you?"

Peering around the people in front of them, Naruto and Rin saw a brunette with two red marks on his face poking his head out of the shop.

"Kiba! Hey! Got any room for two more?"

Kiba turned around, apparently checking something, and faced the duo.

"Yeah, no prob! C'mon in!"

The two headed inside, ignoring the glares from those who were before them. Entering the accommodating set-up, Rin and Naruto followed Kiba to a table toward the back. As they approached, Naruto recognized his classmates eating and arguing.

"Damn it, Chouji, that was mine!" Growled Sakura.

"Sakura-chan, your expression is getting uglier by the second."

"Shut up, Sai!"

"Don't tell Sai to shut up!" Chirped Ino, glaring at the pinkette from across the table.

Shikamaru groaned.

"Whatever. Just leave some for the rest of us."

"Hey, Naruto, Rin." The boys looked around, hearing a familiar voice that was not from the table before them.

"Bon!" The exorcist smiled, holding a steamed bun in hand.

"Why eat here when you can cook like you do?" He asked, taking a chomp out of the bun.

"Naruto loves Ichiraku, and they are pretty good so…" Bon shrugged, glancing at the table of Naruto's friends.

"Cool. Well, if you want you can sit with us, but otherwise, have fun."

With that, Bon strode over to a table in the back where Izumo was yelling at Shima.

"Hey, guys, wait! I'm starving!" Rin shouted, jogging over.

* * *

Haruhi sighed. She had been walking around for a while and was presently in the more high-end area of the convention. Broke citizens milled about, gazing longingly at expensive dishes, accessories, and even touring mock homes. Art shows and booths dotted the aisle while kimono-clad actresses strutted along, waiting for the next reenactment to start.

As she passed a fairly large display of a feudal mansion complete with a natural yard, she heard the unfortunate.

"Haruhiiiii!"

Forcing herself not to stop, she continued on her way at a brisker pace.

"Haruhiiii! Wait!"

Oh no. She heard the patter of feet coming after her, the smell of roses already greeting her nostrils.

"Haruhi! There you are!"

Inwardly groaning, Haruhi turned around.

"Oh, hello, Tamaki-senpai. How are you?"

Tamaki beamed.

"I've never been better! You see, Haruhi, right now I'm reenacting a tea ceremony, though it's really just a picnic. Would you care to join me?"

"Actually, senpai, I'm pretty busy. I was thinking about checking out Nekozawa-senpai's booth."

Tamaki's face fell.

"Oh, I see. He's doing fortune-telling, right? That's... very nice of you to stop by."

"C'mon, milord, it's clear she's lying."

Haruhi tensed.

"Yeah, she can't wait to get away from you." Cooed another, similar voice.

Turning around, Haruhi was greeted with the sight of the Hitachiin twins, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"I'm not really. I just have things to do."

"Then you can do them later! Join us for tea, won't you?"

"C'mon, Haruhi, there are lots of yummy snacks. You don't want me to get Honey-senpai, do you?"

Haruhi frowned. If they got Honey-senpai involved, they would get Mori involved too, and Haruhi knew she had been hefted away by the silent man far too many times in her life.

"Fine."

The trio of rich kids cheered and quickly ushered her to the display's garden. However, as Haruhi walked in, she froze.

"Tamaki…Why are all of these people here…?"

"It's for the reenactment. We had to have a meeting anyway, so we decided to do it here for all to see!"

Blood drained from Haruhi's face as she faced the otherworldly beings. The Host Club was one thing but all of them too?

"Oh, hello, Fujioka."

Sipping tea from a porcelain cup, Ciel Phantomhive eyed her calmly. Before her sat not only Ciel but numerous other top-tiered families of their region.

Of course, it would happen when her father wasn't there to squeal over the moment.

* * *

"Wow! Look at all the pretty pictures!"

"Tobi, that's a multi-million dollar masterpiece; if you so much breathe on it I'll have to kill you and at least seven other A-list celebrities to pay for it. And your calling them 'pretty' is completely superficial and ignorant."

"Damn, who shoved the sparkler up your ass, Suzie?"

Sasori frowned. He stood in a large tent filled with cutting edge pieces. However, for some reason, Tobi and Hidan had followed him inside.

"Hidan, if you're looking for porn, try the booth across the aisle. Or better yet, the country." Added Sasori in a mutter.

"Tch, the hell I'd need that for? Jashin-sama gives me all I need."

"Stop talking."

"Ooh! Look! This is a pretty picture!"

"Tobi, what the hell did I just say about-"

"I agree! The depth the artist went to, the passion and whirl of the brush can all be seen and combined into this intriguing yet saddening piece. I can feel her torment with society and even herself."

Next to Tobi, a tall, white haired man in a kosode stood admiring the painting.

"The hell'd he say?" Loudly whispered Hidan to Sasori.

The redhead stood silently, inspecting the man who had given such an accurate description of the work.

"Excuse me, are you a fan of Jora?"

The taller man noticed him and smiled.

"Why, yes. She's a newer artist and rather peculiar, but I enjoy mulling over her work. Many say that she copies others but I can sense her own style buried deep within…"

The man's face grew serious as he again stared at the canvas, contemplating its meaning. Sasori nodded.

"Exactly. Her sculptures specifically capture the present and past all in one."

The man nodded too.

"Yes, I'm glad you noticed. You must be a rather astute artist, as well, much like Jora-san."

Sasori's eyes wandered back to the abstract.

"Well, I suppose…" He murmured.

"Oh, yes! Sasori-senpai is a great artist! He makes puppets and sculptures and dolli-"

"Tobi!"

Sasori slapped a hand over the excited man's mask, giving him the notice to shut the ever-loving hell up.

"Sasori-san, is it?" The man asked. "It's very nice to meet you. I'm Jushiro Ukitake, the pleasure is mine."

Sasori nodded and shook the man's outstretched hand.

"Likewise."

* * *

"So, Haruhi, we're here as a panel for the displays! We get to judge the reenactments, best food, most unique booth, and more! Isn't that fun?"

Haruhi sat on a blanket surrounded by the Hosts. At her right, Tamaki excitedly jabbered away, but she was far too distracted by the high-class people in her midst. No, not the Hosts, but the real high-rollers, those who were actually serious people.

On the middle blanket sat Byakuya Kuchiki, the head of the noble Kuchiki clan which owned businesses upon businesses and stressed tradition. To Byakuya's right sat the blanket of the Phantomhives, where Ciel's butler continued serving him tea and snacks. To Byakuya's left, the Hyuugas sat stoically, their clan too terrifying to confront. Next to them, Sasuke Uchiha lounged, reading a magazine while ignoring an antsy patrolman hounding him about crime or something.

"Uncomfortable, Haruhi?"

The girl snapped out of her reverie to see Kyoya grinning brilliantly, his refreshing façade not slipping past her senses.

"A little. I'm not rich or anything." She admitted, seeing no harm in undebated honesty.

"If you're judging us based off our wealth, I'll have to say that you're sorely mistaken."

A few blankets over, Byakuya Kuchiki picked up a tea cup and gracefully drank it after delivering his verdict.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Haruhi admitted with a small bow.

Unlike most of the Host Club and even the others present, she fully respected the Kuchiki clan.

"Still, if you want to leave…"

"No, let's have her stay."

This time the child master spoke up, a mischievous grin on his face. "It would be helpful to have a plebeian's input."

Fighting a frown, Haruhi replied.

"Thank you, but I really should-"

"Haru! Haru! Did you know that the Phantomhives have a toy company? They make really great ones! Maybe Ciel will let you test some!"

Behind her, the happy chirping of Honey-senpai came, dashing her hopes of leaving. She knew he deeply appreciated the Phantomhives, so it was rather difficult to leave after he mentioned that.

"They have Giant Tuna…" Murmured Mori, absently watching cherry blossom petals fall in front of him.

The Hosts stared her down, knowing she would never pass such a delicious option up.

"I'm…really...I should…"

"Here, want some?"

Ciel picked up a piece of Giant Tuna with his chopsticks, the mischievous air still surrounding his person. Dangling it in front of her like that, it was only cruelty Ciel Phantomhive could manage. Frowning, Haruhi gazed at the food.

"Are you a man or an animal? Relying on other people for food is weak." Remarked Sasuke as he rewrapped the bandages he always wound around his hands.

"I never asked for the Tuna, nor did I ask to be here!"

"Haruhi, Haruhi! Let's go check out the street vendors! I want to try some takoyaki!"

A loud 'hmph' from beside the Kuchikis drew eyes to Neji Hyuga, rising from his blanket and wiping imaginary dirt off of his being.

"As thrilling as all of this is, some of us have things to do. I suggest we begin rating the booths before this meaningless conversation drags on any further."

Byakuya nodded, Ciel frowned, Sasuke shrugged, and the Hosts were exuberant.

"Alright! Let's move out to see the land of commoners and their way of life!"

Tamaki's eyes shone as he merrily headed out of the garden, the rest of the club minus Haruhi following. Likewise, the other nobles got up and trailed out of the vicinity as well. The last one leaving, Ciel Phantomhive stopped to look back at Haruhi, who hadn't moved an inch since her arrival.

"Well, Fujioka? Are you coming?"

An eerie presence appeared next to her, and hesitantly she turned to see Ciel's ominous butler Sebastian looming over her with a misleading smile.

"I…guess I could." She managed.

Ciel smirked and headed out. Haruhi followed with Sebastian behind her.

* * *

End Chap. 3!

Next time:

-Itachi's plan in motion

The True Cross Convention Center "arc" will take place in three parts. Is that the sound of the plot heading toward us?


	4. The Best Laid Plans II

**EDIT** (11-12-16): A few consistency and word choice issues have been resolved. Another annoying reminder that chapters 2-5 flesh out the story's world.

Again, you could jump to chapter 6, where the plot officially starts, and not miss too much.

Thanks for reading!

* * *

Chapter 4: The Best Laid Plans of the Rich and Desperate II

* * *

"Oi, it's Sasuke!"

The Uchiha cursed and quickly ducked into a pub display. He had briefly separated from the Rich People's Association in order to properly check-in on the Itachi situation.

Glaring a bit, he recalled how he had specifically ordered Team 6 of the Uchiha Police Force to keep a close watch out for Naruto. He was adamant to the extent that he even had his personal guard about. Speaking of, where was that trio of idiots..?

"Itachi-san!"

A few yards away, Itachi and Kisame sat in a working teahouse display, peering out of the building after hearing their target's voice.

"Hm, he seems to have located Sasuke." Remarked the older brother.

Kisame nodded as he slurped his tea. Once finished, he clanked his cup down and grinned.

"Well, Leader-sama did say to track Naruto, but it looks like you won't be too much help."

"On the contrary, Kisame, I may prove to be the most helpful."

While confused about this, Itachi stood up and ambled out of the building. Shocked, Kisame floundered to his feet, darting after the prodigy.

"Itachi-san, what exactly are you trying to pull? If you go out on the street right now, Sasuke might see you."

"True. But I might have to bait Sasuke."

"What?"

"Just watch, Kisame."

Itachi wandered out of the venue and instead of heading down the aisle where Sasuke was spotted, he approached the loud blond with whiskers on his face.

"I don't see him, Naruto. Maybe he left?" Naruto shook his head.

"Nah, Sasuke's just scared to be seen with me in public."

"Yeah?"

Rin's eyes opened wider, his interest piqued.

He remembered when he tried denying friendship with Shiemi, and even if it was out of pride's sake, he knew it was wrong.

"Yeah. Sasuke and I used to be friends. Even though we've both gone through a lot, we knew there was a path for us. Sasuke wants to catch his brother, who killed their family, and I want to prove myself. Unfortunately, Sasuke listened to the wrong people. His hatred for his brother was so strong that he ignored everything we were taught and has sunk to manipulating the police and wanting to kill his brother."

"Whoa, that's really terrible..."

"I guess so, but I'm going to bring Sasuke back! I'll make him see that he has enough and is really a good person."

"That's really cool of you, Naruto."

Rin, rather new to the house, had never heard Naruto's backstory, so he was rather moved. Ichigo had mentioned something about it to him, but hearing the words from Naruto's mouth made the exorcist-in-training realize how determined he was.

"Thanks! Anyways, I remind Sasuke of the good side, so he avoids me. I'm used to it though."

"I totally get you, man. Even Yukio avoids me sometimes…When he turned on me, I really didn't know what to do…"

"Excuse me."

The two boys turned from their deep conversation to see a man a bit shorter than them.

"Oh, sorry, did you need something?"

Itachi nodded.

"Could you pass this message on to Sasuke Uchiha?"

Naruto's eyes widened.

"Sasuke? What is it?"

Itachi, aware of his brother's hidden presence, replied determinedly.

"Tell him, 'Your hatred still isn't enough.'"

"His hatred isn't enough?"

From behind the walls, Sasuke's eyes shot open. He swore he heard his brother's voice. Quickly, he ran out of the building and into the aisle.

There he saw Naruto and that black haired boy he lived with. Dashing toward Naruto, he seized him by the collar and started shaking him.

"Naruto! Was someone just here?"

Naruto, with a dubious expression on his face, slowly nodded.

"Yeah, he told me to tell you that-"

"I heard! Where did he go?"

Naruto looked at Rin who shrugged, and he mimicked the motion. Sasuke growled.

"You don't know where he went?"

"Nope, he just disappeared. Went around the corner, I think."

Sasuke's head snapped to the direction Naruto motioned toward, and he quickly threw the blond away from him and ran off, calling the police force all the while.

"Suigetsu, Karin, Jugo. I want officers at every entrance and exit to this building. Yes! This includes bathrooms and windows!"

Naruto looked at Rin and shrugged.

Back in the teahouse, Kisame gave Itachi a skeptical look.

"I'm not sure what that accomplished, Itachi-san."

"You'll see." Murmured the Uchiha as he took another sip of tea.

Kisame frowned and looked back at the aisle, where Naruto and Rin were leaving.

"Ah, they're on the move, Itachi-san."

* * *

"What's with these booths?"

Ciel scowled as he looked around. They were amidst the busiest section of the convention, where booths selling jewelry, face painting, and snacks mingled with school booths, job opportunities, and talent agencies.

"Look! There's Nekozawa-kun!" Pointed Honey-senpai.

Sure enough, next to a high school basketball team's booth sat the Black Magic Club. Tamaki retreated to the back of the group.

"Is that on the list for ratings?" Asked Kyoya to Byakuya, whose bodyguard held the clipboard with information.

Renji flipped a few pages and scanned down the list of names.

"Yup, it's in the running for 'Most Creative.' What score should we give it?"

While Tamaki cowered behind the twins, Ciel Phantomhive boldly approached Nekozawa, who sat behind a crystal ball.

"Why hello, sir. Care for a fortune telling?" The president kindly offered.

Ciel glanced at the table's contents.

"What's good at dealing with demons?"

Sebastian allowed a coy smirk to grace his features.

'Of course, young master. When given any chance, you search for a way to keep me under your lock and key even more.'

Nekozawa appeared thoughtful.

"Well, verses and chants usually do wonders, but I would consult those of the Church for further guidance. The True Cross branch even has exorcists, so I would rather send you to the professionals. Why? Are you possessed? How fortunate…" The man dreamily sighed.

After waiting a few moments, Ciel replied.

"That will be all, thank you."

He turned around and returned to the group.

"Didn't seem very successful," Commented Renji.

"I suppose not, but at least his customer service was decent…"

* * *

"Hidan, you really should get a job. Leader-sama will go crazy if you never have a source of income."

Hidan glared at the redhead chiding him. In front of them, Tobi ambled along, somehow sucking on a lollipop beneath his mask. In his hand he clutched a plastic bag brimming with snacks and candies Jushiro Ukitake had given him.

"Whatever. If he'd just let me kill people again…"

Sasori rolled his eyes.

"That will never happen. We're supposed to be under-the-radar. We've already committed serious crimes so we need to focus on kidnapping right now. Kakuzu was right; religion is a goldmine. Why can't you just tax for your priestly duties or something?"

Hidan huffed.

"No way, Jashin-sama is free to all." Sasori sighed.

"Your choice to self-destruct."

"Ooo! Sasori-san, Hidan-san, can we stop to see the show?"

Sasori glanced to his right, where he saw a large gathering of people surrounding a stage. Above it, a banner proclaimed the name, "Karakura Rangers." On the stage, an older man with a cape was making dramatic gestures. Sasori furrowed his brows and lifted a hand to his head in defeat.

"Fine."

"What?"

Sasori shrugged.

"You know Tobi loves the Karakura Rangers."

"You stopped for this but not for that live surgery?"

"That was clearly illegal, Hidan. Everyone knows Kurotsuchi Mayuri has been in prison before. He's no different from Orochimaru, and Kami-knows I've spent enough time around people like that. Plus, as I said before, we need to keep under-the-radar."

Hidan dramatically sighed. Across the aisle, a booth caught his attention and he wandered over.

"Hello, sir, have you ever wanted to become an exorcist?"

Hidan scoffed.

"Please. I'm already a priest hunting demons, what more do I need?"

The man in a black coat raised his eyebrow.

"You hunt demons?"

"Hell yeah."

"I see… Are you in the Order? Hunting demons should only be done by professionals."

This time Hidan raised an eyebrow.

"Bitch, please. I am a professional. Caught the Two-Tails myself, not to brag or anything."

"The…what?"

* * *

"What are these?"

Haruhi looked around in wonder as the Rich People's Association mimicked her curiosity much more regally.

"It appears to be the sculpture section of the art show." Noted Byakuya Kuchiki, glancing at the ice soul reaper he stood beside.

"Look at all of these ice sculptures." Murmured Haruhi as she began to walk around. "An ice dragon, people in kosodes and yukatas…weird beasts with no hearts…"

Next to Byakuya, Renji smirked.

"Heh. Looks like Captain Hitsugaya's outdone himself this year."

"Whoa, look at these!"

A few yards away, the Hitachiin twins stood before an enormous sand sculpture of the infamous Nine Tailed Fox. Etched into the sand were its growling features; its pose one of a predator about to pounce. Wisely, across from it, behind the twins, loomed an equally huge sand sculpture of the terrifying Shukaku, or the One Tailed Beast.

The Host Club members quickly gathered around, judging the pieces.

"It's incredible." Tamaki commented, a serious façade worn.

Unusually likewise, Kyoya nodded, looking thoughtful.

"Very accurate, I'd say. The Wind Region's governor has more talent than anyone gives him."

"And they give him a ton of talent, too." Murmured Ciel as he joined the others to appreciate the statues.

Still reeling from his encounter with Naruto, Sasuke sauntered up and frowned at the Kyuubi.

"Hmph. I've seen better."

Neji Hyuga frowned in silent irritation at this, passing the Uchiha to gaze upon the other sculptures in the show.

"Hey, Sasuke," The Uchiha winced at Tamaki's direct addressing of him, "check this out."

The Suoh motioned his fellow plutocrat over, a few sculptures past the Legendary Beasts.

"It's a bird with the Sharingan in its mouth."

Sasuke's eyes shot wide open, but quickly narrowed into a glare.

"How do you know what that is?"

Tamaki stared at the Uchiha blankly.

"You know, from that folk tale? The one about how the world was created? That lady had the Byakugan and the Rinne Sharingan, right?"

Sasuke blinked.

"Yeah. But what makes you think-"

"Legend has it that the Uchiha clan inherited the Sharingan, the Hyuuga clan the Byakugan, and the coming savior will have the Rinnegan."

Again, Sasuke stared at Tamaki.

"You think I have the Sharingan?"

Tamaki brightly laughed, causing Sasuke to growl.

"Of course not, though that would be pretty cool…" He added. "It's just a folk tale I came across while researching skit possibilities for our club." The Frenchman gestured to the Hosts beside him for reference. "That legend is how your clans got your reputation, too. The Uchiha clan could see through the deception and lies of criminals while the Hyuuga clan could see through one's soul."

Behind Tamaki, Neji gave way to a small smirk.

"That's not exactly correct, but if that is what our reputation is to the Suoh clan, I suppose I should be honored."

"That story is stupid." Deemed Sasuke with a 'hmph,' staring absently at the piece of artwork Tamaki had pointed out.

After what the Host had explained, the man would have realized that the piece before him was not one that Sasuke would hail but hate. A large clay bird had an eyeball emblazoned with the Sharingan squished between its beak, in the process of getting eaten.

Tamaki straightened up and held his arms out, palms up.

"Well, there's nothing I can do about that, Sasuke-kun. Stories are meant to be passed down for all generations."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and chose to check in with his police units.

"Suigetsu, any news on Itachi?"

The radio buzzed.

"Nope, nothing yet, Sasuke. But we've successfully shut down all the exits, though people are pretty pissed off about that." Suigetsu chuckled on his side, glancing at the angry patrons attempting to leave the convention.

From his spot at the front entrance, there were a lot of them.

"Good." Sasuke replied while glancing at a lifelike figure of a famous actor. "The consumers will have to deal with it. We can't risk him getting away."

On the other end of the radio, Suigetsu sighed.

"You sure we couldn't just block all people who look like him from leaving? This crowd's getting pretty nasty." He noted, watching a woman slap a patrolman across the face with idle interest. "I mean, I highly doubt your brother would be posing as a middle-aged pregnant woman or a seven-year-old snot-nosed brat."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"You never know…" He murmured. Clearing his throat, he continued. "Regardless, keep everyone locked in. _We don't_. _Want him_. _Escaping_."

Suigetsu smiled knowingly as he heard his leader's crazed articulation.

"Got it, boss."

* * *

"Karakura Ranger Red! Go!"

"Suuuupeeerrrr… Kick!"

"Ranger Home Run!"

Hidan loudly groaned as he attempted to make his way from the skit. Unfortunately, most people were drawn by the main Ranger's acrobatics and charisma, so the area around the stage was packed.

"Move the fuck out of my way." Ordered Hidan as he pushed past mothers and couples alike.

Sasori looked around as he heard a disgruntled murmur behind him. Too late, he noticed a silver haired man haughtily striding out of the crowd. Breathing a breath of air, he decided to let Hidan suffer with whatever consequences would befall him.

At the puppet master's right, Tobi stood eagerly, squealing and cheering at the Karakura Ranger's actions. Glancing back to the act, Sasori decided to take notes. Who knew, maybe Tobi's childish likings would help his doll business more than the idiot's opinions.

"Stupid fucking kid's show. Only knocked-up whores and pedophiles watch shit like that. Jashin, that driftwood's a pedo, ain't he? Shoulda known…" Hidan mumbled to himself as he strolled back toward the only thing that caught his interest.

Prior to watching the show, his encounter with the True Cross Exorcists proved to be a stalemate. The man kept pressing for his certification, employer, etcetera, and it was all too irritating for the priest. He knew his religion, and it certainly didn't respond to some fat man in the Vatican.

The priest stopped, again before a familiar booth.

"Sir, I have to ask you once more to leave. If you don't, I can forcibly remove you from the premises. Er, sort of. Once the boss unseals the exits." The lone police officer eyed the man on the platform warily. "You're not Itachi Uchiha, are you?"

A sigh.

"Really, why must I always deal with idiots like these…" The man on-stage muttered before facing the officer with a disturbing grin. "Anyways, want to help with my project?"

"Sir, you need to leave. A live surgery is unhygienic, traumatic, humiliating, and illegal on so many other levels."

Mayuri Kurotsuchi frowned, narrowing his eyes as he studied the officer.

Hidan stood a few feet away, observing the exchange and wanting the surgery to hurry the hell up.

"See, this is why people are so weak. No one's willing to make the progress needed to get stronger. By studying the body for instance-"

"You could traumatize children!"

"I could educate them. Who knows if they'd ever get the chance to see a life saved or lost ever again? It's an invaluable experience, as is any."

The officer shuddered under Kurotsuchi's grin.

"I'm sorry, but you're under arrest for-GUH!"

A flash of silver and the officer suddenly fell backwards.

"Death is an experience as well." Kurotsuchi's grin broadened. "Let's see what I can do with this one."

Blood flowed out of the officer's mouth and chest, his eyes wide at the ceiling, and a surgical knife sat embedded deeply in his chest, directly where his heart was.

Hidan frowned. The cop was dead.

"Sir."

A female's detached voice invited Hidan to face the platform once more. A woman in a tight black dress stood stoically, her arm still outstretched from throwing the knife. She was looking at him. Indifferent, Hidan glanced about.

Despite the crowds and numerous people trotting by, no one seemed aware of the corpse lying on the ground, or of the woman who killed him. Hidan looked back at the platform, where the two soul reapers stared at him studiously.

How did they do it? Whenever he killed in public, the cops or shinobi agents were on the scene immediately.

"I see…" Muttered Kurotsuchi as he eyed the silver haired man standing indifferently before him. "I'm sure you saw that as necessary, no?" He called out a bit louder, catching Hidan's attention.

The priest shrugged.

"Hell if I care. Hey, are you gonna use this guy?"

Kurotsuchi's expression faltered a bit. A studious expression appeared once more.

"Hm?"

"Ya know, you gonna use this corpse for anything?" Asked Hidan, pointing at the body for emphasis.

"I was planning on salvaging it for spare parts. And… It never hurts having the body of an officer in one's closet."

Hidan scowled, eyes narrowed. Damn, this guy was just like Kakuzu!

"You sure? I'll pay you. Actually, do you do this often? 'Cuz I'm kind of in a pinch…"

Kurotsuchi raised an eyebrow. Now here was something interesting to study.

* * *

Deidara idled through the convention, casting his gaze left and right with disinterest. In the whole hour and a half he had been there, he hadn't found a job and was bored enough to consider planting a bomb somewhere near the stage for the Miss Dream Queen Scholarship Pageant; Those skinny whores had it coming. After sauntering past earlier, one of the deluded teenagers nearly puked on him.

His bad luck aside, the only reason his bomb fantasy hadn't happened was because Konan, miraculously a model herself, had been in the vicinity with Pain. After puke made its way toward his shoes, he immediately felt the swirly eyes of a serial killer boring holes into the back of his head, practically daring him to do something and see what would happen.

Wisely, he quickly left the area.

Now he was bored, in need of a drink, and lacking quality art to take in.

"Let's play ski ball, dattebayo!"

"Nah, let's get some shaved ice! Oh yeah, and we're 'sposed to pick up something for Ranka, right?"

Ears perking, Deidara weaved through the crowd toward a voice he couldn't miss. Sure enough, a few feet away stood Naruto Uzumaki with one of the kids he lived with. It seemed they were deciding what to do. Deidara instantly scanned around, his eyes darting left and right. If Naruto was here, that meant Itachi and Kisame were around too.

As the duo ventured away, Deidara kept a keen eye out for his two coworkers, trailing behind the team as well. Finally, he noticed Kisame nonchalantly playing a basketball street fair game with Itachi standing a few feet behind him.

"Hey, what's up?" Asked the artist as he sidled up to the Uchiha, watching Kisame score consecutive shots.

"We're currently tailing Naruto Uzumaki and his friend."

"I can see that…" Noted Deidara as a buzzer rang and Kisame grinned.

The vendor frowned, muttering something as he moved to the back of the small stand to retrieve the prize Kisame pointed at.

"Forty-seven; new high score." Announced Kisame with a grin, a stuffed bear in his grasp.

"Uh, Kisame? I think that game's geared toward kids." Deidara finally remarked with an amused expression.

The man shrugged, handing Itachi the stuffed animal which he shoved in a plastic bag Deidara now noticed. By its contents, he could tell the two had been cleaning out vendors and collecting prizes all day.

"I know. Did you see the look on that kid's face when I took this bear he wanted?" The man laughed, now cuing Deidara in to the small boy glaring their way.

"So, what are you gonna do with all these?" The bomber asked, motioning at the bag as they walked away, following the sound of Naruto and Rin's laughter.

"Donating them to orphans."

"Huh?"

"I was kidding."

Kisame howled in laughter, causing Deidara's expression to fall. Weren't they supposed to be on recon?

"Good joke, Itachi-san. We should probably find you a disguise now."

Kisame turned to Deidara.

"Itachi-san outted himself to Sasuke."

Despite their situation, Kisame chuckled.

"Oh yeah," Deidara remembered, "thanks for that. I had to take a piss really bad and-"

"Might I suggest stopping before you continue that idiotic and irrelevant tangent, Deidara?"

Fighting a glare, the bomber continued anyway.

"Like I was saying, I had to piss hella bad, but thanks to your stunt, your dumbass brother's gone and quadrupled the security around this place."

"And that has to do with your bladder…how?"

"Sh! Anyway, I went to the bathroom and apparently you can't take a leak without being stared at by a cop. Seriously. They had like three in there. Plus, they're in the stalls. With that being said, the line was longer than the line for Mephistoland or whatever it's called… So…Due to your brother, I had to pee in a vase."

"You peed in a vase?" Repeated Itachi.

"Yup. Didn't get caught though. Just yelled your name and the cops pushed everyone out of the area, cordoned the place off, and I got to pee in peace."

Kisame laughed.

"Was that your plan, Itachi-san?"

"Nothing related to Deidara's bladder, but if you're referring to the hysteria then yes. Sasuke's out of our hair looking for me, and if we need to make a quick escape, we can do so with the yell of my name."

Deidara nodded. Despite hating ninety-five percent of the Uchiha, the guy had pretty good plans.

"Uh, actually...When are we leaving anyway? Have you guys found out anything on the Kyuubi?"

Kisame's eyes narrowed as he looked down on the shorter terrorist.

"Have you found a job yet?"

The blond scowled.

"Fine, fine. I get it. You do your job, I'll do mine."

Kisame grinned.

"Damn straight. Though it would be an interesting sight to see you go back to the house without any applications in…"

Deidara grimaced.

"Nope. I almost ran into the leader earlier, and that was enough. Maybe I'll apply at a few places, just to be safe..."

On that note, Deidara issued a curt wave and strode off.

Kisame turned to Itachi.

"Well, what have we accomplished, Itachi-san?"

The prodigy was blank faced.

"Let's try leaving and find out."

* * *

Thanks for reading!

Again, if you find any inconsistencies please let me know.

The next chapter concludes the True Cross Convention Center saga. After that we'll get the plot! Yippee!


	5. The Best Laid Plans III

The last chapter of the True Cross Convention Center saga and the finale of the prologue-like material.

If you've read this far, it's probably dumb saying this, but you could skip to chapter 6 for your convenience since that's where the plot officially starts.

Thanks for reading!

* * *

Chapter 5: The Best Laid Plans of the Rich and Desperate III

* * *

Ichigo checked his watch. It was four-fifteen and there was still no sign of the usually early Haruhi or the normally late Rin and Naruto. The latter two were no surprise, but Haruhi… Ichigo leaned against the ebony column behind him, ignoring the loud shouting surrounding him. His guess was that Haruhi ran into the Host Club.

"Ichigo?"

The redhead turned at the sound of his name and saw a ruffled Yukio pushing his way through people before stumbling out of the crowd and landing before him.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Where is everyone? Ranka wanted us all to leave at four so we could have dinner ready at six-thirty…"

Yukio frowned and huffed in frustration.

Ichigo nodded.

"That was the plan but…"

The duo glanced over toward True Cross Convention Center's main doors.

"I doubt Ranka could have predicted the stupidity of the Uchiha Police."

* * *

"Itachi-san…" Hissed Kisame in a whisper. "How are we going to get out of here?"

Surrounding the duo was a mob of angry shoppers, all banned from exiting due to the one person in their midst who pissed off the Chief of Police. They weren't even at the front doors yet but locked in traffic a few aisles away from them.

"You'll know when it happens." Murmured the Uchiha.

* * *

"Where'd you disappear to?" Asked Sasori as he, Tobi, and Hidan headed toward the exit.

Hidan shrugged.

"Bathroom."

Sasori's eyes narrowed but he said nothing. He really didn't care. However, he did care about how the hell they were going to leave the convention center.

"The hell did Itachi do…" The redhead muttered, irritatedly scanning the ever-thickening crowds.

Hidan scoffed.

"And you were worried about me."

Sasori ignored him and finally halted, stopped by the crowd. Despite his short frame, he could make out the True Cross Convention Center's front doors a few yards away with the silhouettes of patrol officers standing in the doorways.

The dollmaker crossed his arms before turning on his heel.

"And where the hell do you think you're going, Suzy?" Drawled Hidan.

"This way." Called the redhead. "We'll never get out over there."

* * *

"So… What is this?" Haruhi asked as she stood with the Rich People's Association, staring at a sea of people.

Renji emerged from within the crowd.

"Seems like the Uchiha Police Force," he glared at an indifferent Sasuke, "has sealed all the exits to this place. Windows and emergency doors included."

All remaining plutocrats shot glares at the Uchiha. Sasuke looked up from his scanner and raised an eyebrow.

"What? Itachi is on the loose in here."

Neji stared hard at the younger orphan.

"You know what your brother looks like, right? Why not just monitor the security cameras and-"

"Don't underestimate him!" Snapped Sasuke.

Neji sighed, giving up with the rest of the elites.

"But we're done voting, so how are we gonna leave?" Innocently asked Honey-senpai as he clutched Usa-chan in thought.

"Sasuke."

Ciel Phantomhive stared at the older teen through a narrowed eye. The raven-haired officer sighed.

"I guess I could get them to let you guys out… But the poor girl stays."

All eyes fell upon Haruhi, whose relieved expression dissolved into a frown.

"Why me…"

* * *

Meanwhile, Deidara stood in line before the LME recruiters. The girl in front of him left, and he walked up to the table.

"Fill this out, please." Said the man sitting there, tapping a pen on a blank form.

Applications were on the spot, so Deidara quickly began to write down his information while standing there. After a few minutes, the recruiter picked it up and glanced it over.

"Sound Effects division, huh? We are pretty short there. Seems like you've had a lot of experience…" The man trailed off, reading through Deidara's work history.

Finally, he looked up. "We'll be in touch."

Deidara fought back a smirk and nodded. Sound effects? How easy was that compared to blowing up centuries-old buildings? As he sauntered away, his happy thoughts were quickly dispelled by the loud screams coming from the entrance.

"What now…"

* * *

"Shit! It's Kisame Hoshigaki of the Wave region and Itachi Uchiha! Run!"

After that uncharacteristically loud line, Itachi had yanked Kisame away and they had barricaded themselves behind the counter of a vacant face painting stand. The two men sat huddled to the counter, attempting to stay out of view while a stampede resounded outside of their hideout.

"But did you really have to yell my name, Itachi-san?" Glared Kisame.

The Uchiha remained stoic.

"It added more depth and panic."

Kisame sighed. He really was paired up with some kid.

* * *

"Oh, Ichigo!"

Ichigo looked up from his phone and saw a redhead elbowing her way through the crowd, hurrying in his direction.

"Kyoko? I thought you were signing autographs or something."

Kyoko meekly smiled and scratched the back of her head.

"Well, I was but since I'm a still an amateur I wasn't needed anymore."

"Harsh."

Kyoko looked around.

"Where are the others?"

Ichigo shrugged.

"Who knows. I texted 'em but no one replied. Yukio went to find them"

Ichigo's phone flashed.

"Wait, nevermind. Naruto just sent me a Snap of him and Okumura in front of some cops. Caption's 'totally lost but still havin fun.'"

Ichigo's face fell.

"Damn it, this is useless."

He pocketed his phone and crossed his arms, surveying the crowd along with Kyoko.

"Think we'll ever get out of here?"

"Not at this rate."

The two looked to their left where they saw a disheveled Haruhi panting, victorious from getting through the crowd.

"Did you run into the Hosts?" Ichigo asked.

"Yeah, and some other rich bastards." Haruhi mumbled. "The main bastard being Sasuke Uchiha."

Ichigo groaned while Kyoko donned a serious, menacing facade.

"Should I curse him and his family until their thousandth generation?"

"Uh, no. He's already the last of his clan so…"

"That's beginning to sound like a good idea." Haruhi agreed with dead eyes, causing Ichigo to look between the two girls with skepticism.

"Listen. If I see him I'll just punch him. He can't get away with misusing his powers like this."

"I agree."

The trio turned and saw Yukio with Rin and Naruto trailing behind.

"Where were you two at?" Ichigo asked the last two members of their home.

"We were playing some games and then got lost in the crowd." Rin explained.

Sure enough, the two were clutching plastic bags of souvenirs and prizes from their earlier activities.

"I'm surprised games are still running with the panic going on in here." Ichigo observed.

Yukio nodded.

"Really. I think it would be a wiser course of action for the police to evacuate civilians, if Itachi Uchiha really is in the area."

"You think Itachi might not be here?" Kyoko asked.

Yukio shrugged.

"Someone would have seen him by now, right? The only logical options are that he left earlier or was never here in the first place. The current development could be from any idiot shouting his name."

Ichigo groaned, a drained expression on his face.

"You're kidding me, right? 'Cuz if that's the case, there's no one stopping me from getting rid of the guys at the front entrance."

Ichigo jabbed a thumb over at the police blocking the front doors.

"That's not a viable option either." Yukio disagreed.

The screams around them increased in volume and frenzy, the crowds pushing closer to the door.

"Listen, if Itachi Uchiha's here, you gotta let us leave!" A man yelled.

"We can't do that. Itachi could escape." A police officer in front of the doors explained.

"Like hell! We could die!"

Yukio sighed.

"Well, it looks like the crowds are pretty close to beating the cops up for you." He said to Ichigo, who was already rolling his shoulders, loosening up for a fight.

* * *

"Hey, what just happened? It got a hell of a lot louder at the front of the Center." Hidan pointed out, looking over his shoulder.

The trio was heading to the back of the main room, where the crowds were fewer.

"Tobi, go find out what happened." Sasori ordered while staring at a map of the building plastered to a portable signboard.

"Right!"

The masked man ran off, leaving Hidan to stare dumbly at the map with Sasori.

"Should we cut the power?" The Jashinist asked.

"No, that would only cause more panic. I predict that very soon, the people will riot against the police. Actually," Sasori began, turning to eye Hidan, "I've thought of a very good idea thanks to Itachi."

"Idea?"

As Hidan attempted to think of anything good Itachi delivered out of the pandemonium, Tobi returned with a guest.

"Lost?" Deidara asked with a raised eyebrow upon finding his co-workers around a map.

"Hey, Tobi. Sasori told you to find out what the hell happened up there, not to fetch Cinder-fucking-rella here." Hidan angrily chastised, gesturing at a narrow-eyed Deidara.

"But Deidara-senpai knows what happened!"

Sasori and Hidan turned to stare at Deidara.

"Well? What the fuck happened?"

Deidara rolled his eyes.

"Itachi-sighting. People are, as you would say, freaking the fuck out."

"Did people actually see Itachi?" Sasori asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Hm… I dunno. Someone shouted that they saw him and Kisame, I think."

"Just fucking great. Now they're both going to get caught." Hidan crossed his arms and leaned against a nearby stall.

"Hm…"

Sasori put a hand to his chin in thought.

"Idea, senpai?" Deidara asked.

Sasori nodded.

"Yes. Do either of you happen to have a knife?"

Deidara, Tobi, and Hidan looked around at each other. Stares landed on Hidan who rolled his eyes, dramatically groaned, and pulled out a switchblade from his pocket before handing it to Sasori.

"This will do nicely," Sasori announced as he checked the blade, "Thank you."

Hidan rolled his eyes once more.

"Yeah, but what do you want wi-"

Sasori took three steps toward Hidan, raised his knife hand, and quickly impaled the blade down into Hidan's chest.

* * *

"So since Itachi's at the front…"

"Allegedly." Yukio added, interrupting Rin.

"Right. So since Itachi's allegedly at the front, they're telling us to move to the back?"

The group of roommates were being ushered to the back of the room, which to them made absolute zero sense due to the probability of them passing the alleged criminal on their way back.

Yukio groaned.

"Yes. That is exactly their reasoning."

Naruto ran his fingers through his hair.

"But wouldn't we just give him a better opportunity to change locations?"

Yukio groaned even louder.

At the back of the group, Ichigo had his hands shoved in his jean pockets, a frown etched onto his face. Haruhi and Kyoko walked in front of him, one slouched over and glaring, the other surrounded by negative energy and muttering under her breath.

Suddenly, more screaming broke out before them.

Ichigo darted to the front of the group, looking around.

"What is it now?"

Yukio, Rin, and Naruto peeked around him. People were fleeing from the back of the room.

"You're kidding me. Did something happen over here?" Yukio asked, looking around. "Hey! Wait!" He yelled at people fleeing past him.

Ichigo grabbed a man's arm as he ran past, causing the man to scream.

"Let go, you idiot!"

"Hey, what happened?" Ichigo demanded.

"A killer… That psychopath Itachi Uchiha's at the back of the room! He stabbed a man and disappeared!"

The man broke free of Ichigo's grasp and fled back to the front of the arena.

"What the…"

"There has been a confirmed sighting of Itachi Uchiha at the back of the True Cross Convention Center's main floor!" Shouted a police officer into his radio as he ran past the group. "All personnel report to the back pronto!"

"So Itachi is back here…" Murmured Yukio.

"Sh-shouldn't we head back to the front then?" Asked Kyoko weakly.

Ichigo nodded.

"Yeah, let's get going."

* * *

"You fucking stabbed me!" Shrieked Hidan as he pressed Deidara's sweatshirt to his wounds. "You fucking stabbed me six fucking times!"

Sasori shrugged.

"Yeah. Hurry up and dry off so we can leave out the front. I diverted all the police attention to the back of the room."

Hidan's mouth hung slack. Deidara wished the priest's jaw would break so he would quit his incessant tirade.

"Dry off? You diverted the police? Like fuck! I was the one who got stabbed! If they hadn't fucking seen me, I doubt anything would have happened!"

Sasori sighed.

"Yeah, exactly. Now hurry up and cover up your wounds. We need to leave."

Sasori tapped his foot in impatience, his brow furrowed.

Hidan growled.

"Here, Hidan-san!"

Tobi appeared with rolls of bandages in hand.

"Thank fucking Jashin for someone with common sense."

The priest shoved the sweatshirt into the blond's hands, allowing Tobi to quickly wind bandages around him.

Deidara grimaced and tossed the sweatshirt in a nearby trashcan.

"We can't have Hidan's blood here." Sasori piped up. "That sweatshirt is evidence and if found could lead to the Akatsuki's discovery."

Deidara blew air at his bangs, rolled something in his palm, and tossed it into the trashcan which promptly burst into flames with a small bang.

He looked at Sasori with a pointed gaze.

The doll maker sighed.

"Just hurry up."

* * *

When Ichigo and the others reached the front of the building once more, people were desperately fighting past the few officers remaining while others past them were kicking and throwing objects at the locked doors.

"Guess we'll just have to-"

"Right. Time to break 'em down." Ichigo announced with a smile, cutting Haruhi off.

"Oh God, please don't." Yukio moaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Naruto and Rin grinned, one cracking his knuckles, the other backing up to run at the door.

"I can't tell if I'm supposed to be helping or disapproving." Kyoko admitted as she watched Rin run at the locked automatic doors, kicking them and causing a crack to appear.

Ichigo followed after him, casually toting a baton an officer dropped. He swung at the cracked glass three times. No give.

"Oi! Move!"

Ichigo and Rin looked up to see Naruto and a few others from the crowd carrying a table their way. The two moved as the group ran at the door and used the table as a battering ram.

Nothing.

"Damn it, nothing's working." Rin growled as he kicked the door.

"I wonder if Sir Pheles constructed these doors with you in mind…" Yukio absently pondered.

"Yukio, c'mon! Now's no time to be standing around! There's a killer around!"

Yukio sighed and walked off.

"Eh? Yukio?"

"Where's he going at a time like this?"

Kyoko and Haruhi followed his frame as far as they could before he disappeared into the angry crowd.

"What's his problem?" Rin asked as Ichigo and Naruto tackled the door.

More high-pitched, frenzied screaming came from the back of the center.

"Fire!"

Haruhi and Kyoko looked at each other.

"What, there's a fire now?" Haruhi spat, attempting to disassociate from the scenario that came from the Uchiha Police Force's stupidity.

More people pushed toward the doors, joining Ichigo, Naruto, and Rin in tackling, punching, and kicking the glass.

"Guys, move." A loud, clear voice ordered.

The roommates faced the crowd and saw Yukio at its edge a few feet from them, a gun in his hands aimed at the door.

"Hey, wait!"

Ichigo and Naruto yelled as they dove to the floor, alerting those around them and closest to the glass to get down as well.

Two gunshots sounded before the sound of shattering glass greeted the crowd's ears.

There was a brief pause in the crowd's desperation that Ichigo and Naruto used to get to their feet and jump out of the way of the instantly surging crowd, all fleeing from the single exit point Yukio made.

Rin grabbed Yukio and Naruto before pushing his way into the crowd and out the hole in the doors.

Ichigo hefted Kyoko and Haruhi, doing the same.

The two ducked behind a statue of Mephisto, watching the stream of desperate people flood out of the building.

Shouts in the distance cued them in to the remaining police's feeble attempts to control the situation.

Rin and Ichigo set their roommates down and stretched.

Naruto breathed a heavy sigh.

"We're out."

"Let's hurry and get out of this area. The police are getting desperate." Yukio noted as the saw officers attempting to grab and detain civilians fleeing the center.

Haruhi sighed and began trudging off.

"Agreed."

* * *

"Someone _please_ give me a short summary of today's happenings."

The Akatsuki members sat quietly throughout their living room. Pain stood behind the sofa, arms crossed and rinnegan eyes narrowed into an ugly glare.

Hidan sat on the couch in front of him, applying ice packs and frozen pizzas to his wounds, which were actually pretty shallow considering the circumstances. He'd have to wait for Kakuzu to get home and stitch them up.

"Well…" Deidara began, pausing with his mouth open as all gazes in the room fell on him. "Uh, well. Today I put in some job apps."

Pain ground his teeth in anger, attempting not to lose it.

"Also, Kisame and I gathered some useful intel while tracking the Ninetails."

Pain was growling as he slowly turned to face Itachi, the key troublemaker of the day.

"Hurry and say what it was, Uchiha!" Hissed Deidara. "I'm scared he's going to kill us!"

Itachi impassively blinked.

"There are others possibly interested in the Tailed Beasts."

Pain's jaw slackened, his expression relaxing into intrigue.

"Who?"

"True Cross Academy. I believe I saw quite a few people affiliated with them tailing Naruto as well."

"Really…" Pain murmured, thinking this over.

"Hey!" Hidan exclaimed. "Those shitheads! Yeah, they're the ones in the black jackets, right?"

Itachi nodded, causing Hidan to grin.

"Yeah, they said if I wanted to hunt demons I needed to join the Order."

"Hidan, you told people you hunt demons?" Growled Pain.

The priest shrugged.

"The guy didn't believe me, anyways. Kept trying to get what branch I worked for or was interested in. Like I care."

"I see… This is valuable information indeed. Good job, Itachi, Hidan."

Kisame frowned. He did work too...

"So...about that panic you caused, Itachi…" Deidara began, eying the man curiously.

"Yes. I started that panic to make it more difficult for the others to follow Naruto and for Kisame and I to move about more easily. Sasuke's not very good at organizing the police force, unfortunately. Also, he usually has a few officers on the lookout for Naruto. Naruto didn't attract any police attention in this situation, and Sasuke didn't have any personnel to spare for him, so we were in the clear."

"What about the panic you guys caused?" Asked Kisame to Sasori, who was sitting indifferently on the couch to Pain's right.

"Right. I stabbed Hidan a few times and blamed it on Itachi. The police were frantic. We got to leave."

"No one fucking bothered to check my pulse, damn it." Grumbled Hidan. "This shithead made me lie on the disgusting ground. I could have diseases!"

"I'm sure you already have plenty of diseases, Hidan." Sasori murmured.

"And the fire?" Pain asked.

Deidara shrugged.

"A happy accident, you could say."

Pain sighed.

"Well, despite Itachi's dramatic scheme, we did learn a few useful things. Others may be interested in the Tailed Beasts. We had best be even more careful from now on."

The Akatsuki members absently nodded while knowing that staying under the radar would be as likely as Naruto giving up Ichiraku.

* * *

Hooray! Everyone made it out alive from the True Cross Convention Center!

A few things we've learned from the past few chapters:

-The Uchiha Police suck. So much.

-Sasuke Uchiha owns and runs said sucky police force.

-The noblemen more or less get along

-The members of the Fujioka household get along pretty well and are used to getting in strange situations and trouble...

-On that note, along with the Host Club's zaniness, Haruhi is pretty desensitized to drama now.

-The Akatsuki just want to catch some Bijuu.

Like I said, this concludes the fleshing out of the story. Sorry to keep you waiting! Let's jump into the plot now!

* * *

Next Chapter: Kyoko gets a new job and people in the neighborhood start plotting...

* * *

*Thanks for reading!*


	6. The Demons of the High Class

Yippee! The plot!

And, man, is there so much plot to behold in this chapter.

* * *

Chapter 6: The Demons of the High Class

* * *

_Bam bam_.

Yukio's head snapped up from his homework, his grip instinctively on the pistol at his waist.

He waited, staring at the window breathlessly.

_Bam bam._

Yukio breathed a sigh of relief and released his grip around the weapon, seeing a gloved fist disappear above his window frame.

Pushing out his chair, Yukio stood up and crossed the beige-carpeted room in five paces. Looking up and down the street, he saw no one. He pulled open the window, breathing in the crisp October air and automatically shivered.

"Yo, took you long enough."

Yukio choked on his breath as Shura Kirigakure's head popped into his vision, her long red ponytail dangling below the windowsill.

"What are you doing?" Yukio hissed. "Get in here!"

Upside-down, Shura smirked before falling into the room.

"Getting pretty bold, aren't you, Four Eyes?"

Yukio slammed the window shut and leaned against it. Shura wandered about his room, stopping by his desk in the corner.

"Homework, huh?"

"What do you want?"

Shura turned around and met Yukio's narrowed eyes.

"Whaddaya mean? Can't stop by for a chat?"

Yukio glared.

"If this were just a chat, I advise you to use the front door next time. You know that's the best way to get free food."

Shura scoffed.

"Trying to say something, Four Eyes?"

Yukio continued glaring. Shura sighed and flipped Yukio's desk chair around, sitting in it backwards.

"Yeah, yeah, okay. I've got some info from Mephisto."

"Sir Pheles? What does he want? Is this about the situation that broke out at the convention center last week?"

It had already been a week since the "Reappearance of Itachi Uchiha: Konoha's Greatest Enemy," as the police paid the newspapers to print the fiasco as. Of course, as Yukio had predicted, there were no signs of Itachi anywhere.

The press conference Police Chief Uchiha called for had the teen heir grinding his teeth, glaring at all in attendance.

He was not crazy.

So he claimed.

"Wha? No, nothing as boring as that. Though I did hear that you grew the balls to shoot the doors open?"

Shura slyly grinned, causing Yukio to groan.

"Rin and the others weakened it first," He muttered.

Yukio's brow furrowed in thought.

Still, if it wasn't about that then that could only imply that something happened in the Order…

"Well? I haven't a clue what you're here for." He admitted.

Shura sighed.

"Must I explain everything?"

"Please do." Replied Yukio.

Shura didn't respond but sat silently in the chair, an unreadable expression on her face.

"So…For the past month I've been secretly observing the Konoha Shinobi Academy."

"You mean Konoha High?" Asked Yukio in surprise.

"Right, that's what it goes by." Shura vaguely added. "Anyway, it's been pretty tough considering their security. I haven't been able to gather anything too revolutionary but-"

"But what? Why were you observing them? If it was to search for suspicious activity, everyone knows that they're a strictly disciplined school with a strong military program. If you're fearing a coup, I doubt that would happen in light of the past Uchiha-"

"Hold it, Four Eyes. You know as well as I do that Sir Pheles couldn't care less about some average human dispute."

Yukio leveled his gaze, mouth twitching in concentration.

"Something demonic?"

"Bingo."

Yukio stared at Shura, attempting to gauge if this was one of her practical jokes or not.

"You're serious. If this is about the Sage of the Six Paths-"

"Not just him."

Yukio's eyes shot open.

"W-what?"

For once, Shura looked oddly serious.

"The Sage of the Six Paths and the Tailed Beasts."

"The-the Tailed Beasts?" Yukio exclaimed.

"Keep it down! Yeah. Konoha High, or more specifically the regions around here, have a lot to do with them."

"But… The Order knows the whereabouts of all the-"

"Not exactly."

"Wh-what?"

"Y'see, the Illuminati got their hands on some of them, right?"

"The Ninetails."

"_Part_ of the Ninetails."

"Part?"

Head swimming, Yukio unconsciously headed for his bed and sat down. His gaze fell aimlessly to his hands as he attempted to grasp the situation.

"What was contained in Kamiki Izumo's mother was only part of the Fox- a greatly weakened and ancient part."

"You're kidding me… So Konoha knows where all the Tailed Beasts are."

Shura issued a short, grave nod.

"About. The Konoha region has one Tailed Beast in their possession. That's the good news."

"Explain."

"There's one Tailed Beast residing in the Konoha region, another in the Kumo region."

"All the way in Kumo? Shit, wait-"

"That's right, Kumo and Konoha don't get along very well, do they?"

"You think a war might start." Yukio surmised, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead.

Shura shrugged.

"I don't think anything; this is all Mephisto's problem. The fact is that while those two are known, the other seven…" Shura trailed off, her gaze shifting to Yukio's desk.

"What…? The Illuminati?"

Shura shook her head, ponytail swaying behind her.

"Nope, I wish."

A pang shot through Yukio's heart.

"Someone worse…"

Shura nodded.

"Allegedly, they call themselves the 'Akatsuki.' They're a group of infamous criminals gathered from all the main regions excluding Kumo."

"They're collecting the Tailed Beasts? But why?"

Shura shrugged.

"No idea. That's all the info I got from Konoha High. Well, that and they've got some pretty damn skilled trackers…" She mumbled.

Silently, Yukio processed this information.

"So we need to find the remaining Tailed Beasts before the Akatsuki do."

"Yup. Either that or kill all the Akatsuki. Or a combo. Whatever Mephisto decides."

Yukio's eyes narrowed.

"Shouldn't you be taking this more seriously? There are Tailed Beasts loose and a war could break out any minute!"

Shura grinned.

"Calm down, we'll be fine. You and Rin can handle it, right?"

With that, Shura got up, strolled over to the window, pulled it up, and stuck her leg out. Still grinning, she faced Yukio as she climbed out and swung a leg up onto the roof.

"Oh, and try to keep this info from Rin. Don't want him mistakenly chasing down the Illuminati."

Shura waved and disappeared onto the roof.

Yukio sighed and walked over to the window. He stuck his head out and looked up. No one. Sighing once more, he retreated back into his room and slammed the window shut.

* * *

"The Illuminati?"

"Yes, my lord. They're a rather auspicious organization that's going around kidnapping demons. Pathetic, really."

One of Sebastian's fangs glinted in the lighting as he grinned. Ciel looked back at his report, a cup of tea suspended in his grasp.

"I'm not freeing them all if that's what you're after. It's not like they're contracted or anything either, so I doubt they're a threat to me."

Sebastian smirked.

"Of course, my lord. As I was saying, the Illuminati is no threat to us. The shinigami, however…"

Ciel's head shot up from his paperwork, a wide-eyed gaze falling on Sebastian.

"Shinigami?"

Sebastian nodded.

"Yes. In addition to demons on this street, I've noticed some shinigami I'm curious about…"

"Curious? Sebastian, shinigami only serve to get in our way. And did I hear you say 'demons?' On our street?"

Sebastian issued a curt nod.

"Would I lie, my lord?"

Ciel glared.

"Very well. The shinigami are an interesting case. I was unaware of their power until I saw them conversing with a visitor of the same nature."

"Stop being so vague."

"Of course. Some shinigami have advanced to utilizing humanoid shells or appearances so that they can freely navigate the human world."

"Why not just disappear, like they already can?" Interrupted Ciel.

"Hm, it is a mystery to me." Sebastian relented with a smile, shrugging. "Anyway, it seems that this helps them blend in better, but they can still sense others of their kind through spiritual power, or reiatsu. All of these techniques originated in this area, so Grell Sutcliff, Ronald Knox, and all the others we are familiar with… Well, they might be outdated, so to speak."

"From this area, hm?"

"I suppose it depends on their organization as well."

"Organization?"

"As you may have heard, the Reapers from our country work for the Shinigami Dispatch Association, which punishes those who have committed suicide into watching other deaths. There is, however, a larger organization in charge of maintaining the balance between the living and the dead."

"You're kidding…"

Sebastian shook his head.

"I'm not. This organization is known as the Gotei 13- it exists in an area known as Soul Society, or the World of the Dead."

Ciel narrowed his eye.

"I don't believe in an afterlife."

Sebastian chuckled.

"Whatever you want to believe, young master. As I was saying, the Gotei 13 is Soul Society's military and has specific spirits- shinigami- in charge of collecting souls from the World of the Living as well as defeating souls that were never saved who threaten the balance between both worlds."

"This sounds foolish and impossible." Bluntly deemed Ciel.

Sebastian smirked.

"Of course, my lord. However, you and I cannot pretend these beings known as shinigami do not exist. We have seen them many times. The fact remains that I have seen shinigami of the Gotei 13 in this area, both donning human forms and in their natural spiritual forms."

"So there are shinigami around from a militaristic organization. Interesting, but after that lengthy explanation, I see no reason to be concerned about the demons on this street. The shinigami will take care of them, right? Are you just worried about your kind being defeated?"

Sebastian snorted, cuing Ciel to raise an eyebrow.

"Not in the least, my lord. The demons on this street are nothing like myself. One is a hybrid- half human, half demon- and the other…"

"Well? What about the other?"

Sebastian smiled coyly.

"I cannot defeat the other."

Ciel's jaw dropped and his eye narrowed.

"Excuse me?"

"I doubt I can defeat him, in all honesty. Though if he stays in this state…"

"What state? Stop stalling and answer me."

Sebastian smiled.

"Well, in this state, as rude as it would be of me, I could easily eliminate him."

Ciel breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back in his chair.

"Hmph. Don't be so melodramatic then."

Sebastian stepped forward and collected the young master's teacup.

"It's gone cold, I'm afraid." He said concerning the tea, placing it on a silver platter.

"Sebastian."

"Yes, my lord?"

"We now know that there are demons and shinigami in this area, who should take care of each other. While that information is valuable, it has nothing to do with the Gedo Mazo."

Sebastian chuckled as he headed to the door, platter in hand.

"Well, True Cross Academy is where you should look concerning that one, my lord."

"Wha-"

The door shut, leaving Ciel's question unanswered.

* * *

Kyoko breathed a sigh of relief as she entered the house.

It had been another long day of work- first a script reading of her new assignment, then Kimagure Rock, and finally a shift at Darumaya.

It was only evening, but Kyoko felt like plopping into bed and going straight to sleep.

Only now she had homework and lines to learn.

Trudging up the stairs, she headed right to her room only to trip up the last carpeted step, falling flat on her face in the hall.

She groaned, not moving.

"Uh, you okay?"

Kyoko glanced up to see Ichigo Kurosaki standing to her right, staring down at her while opening a soda.

Slowly, Kyoko fumbled to her feet, glaring all the while.

"Whoever built these stairs will have his family be cursed for the next ten generations."

"Wh-whoa, calm down!"

Ichigo clutched his soda and backed a few inches away from Kyoko. He knew like everyone else she had encountered that Kyoko Mogami's curses often came true.

Kyoko sighed.

"You're right. I suppose the next five generations will be enough." She mumbled, trudging past Ichigo.

"That's not the point…" Muttered Ichigo, looking over his shoulder to see her fall into her doorway. "Are...are you sure you don't need help?"

A few minutes later saw Kyoko sitting on her bed and Ichigo on her floor, each poring over a book.

Kyoko's head jerked up, startling Ichigo, and she tossed her book to him who albeit stunned, expertly caught it.

Kyoko sat up straight and cleared her throat.

"Ranger Black, I think they're onto us… If we don't find the cube soon, we'll be outed as humans!"

Ichigo stared at her, scratching his head.

"The cube?"

Kyoko vigorously nodded.

"Yes! It's a cube that possesses infinite power and can grant anyone's deepest desires."

Ichigo checked the script once more.

"And 'Ranger Black' refers to… Oh no, don't tell me…"

"Ranger Black! He's a Karakuraizer!"

Ichigo groaned and fell back on the floor.

"You're kidding me. Your next project is the Karakura Rangers?"

Kyoko eyed the ceiling in thought.

"Sort of. They've been talking about multiple routes for adaptation."

Ichigo sat up.

"Huh?"

"Well," Kyoko continued, "the plot isn't finalized yet, apparently."

Ichigo winced.

"Whaddaya mean the plot isn't finalized? Who's running this operation if they already have actors for a vague project!"

Kyoko nervously laughed.

"Yeah, it's pretty strange. It sounds like a good change of pace though. Regardless of all the revisions, it seems that the show will definitely be about spiritual investigators."

Ichigo's face deadpanned.

"Spiritual investigators… Ha. If you need any help just let me know." He added, rising from the floor with his book and heading out the door.

Kyoko stared after him and then at her empty, open doorway.

"Is Ichigo a big fan of the occult?" Kyoko wondered aloud.

* * *

_Knock knock_.

Byakuya Kuchiki looked up from his desk, pausing in writing a report. His home office was dimly lit with a large, lacquered agar wood desk filling its center. A few candles and lamps provided him with enough light to work by. On a small cabinet behind him sat an incense tray, few sticks lit and filling the room with gently sweet scent.

"Sir, your four 'o clock is here." Renji's voice announced from the other side of the thick door.

Byakuya set his pen down and gazed at the door.

"Let him in." Ordered Byakuya.

On the other side of the door, Renji nodded and inserted his key to unlock Byakuya's office (the man preferred to lock himself in, ready if any emergency should arise).

The locks tumbled about and finally the door creaked open, white light spilling into Byakuya's darkened chambers.

The bright, smiling form of Jushiro Ukitake emerged from this light and stood before Byakuya.

Renji closed the door from the hallway and left the two alone.

"Good afternoon, Captain Kuchiki."

Byakuya nodded.

"Any word?"

Ukitake's smile left his face.

"No, I'm afraid not."

The man coughed.

"Excuse me. As I said, there is no news regarding the strangely low hollow count for this area."

"Kisuke Urahara?"

"Investigating it as we speak. He said it's been happening for some time… It's only a theory but…"

Byakuya raised an eyebrow.

"But?"

"I believe, as does Urahara, that True Cross Academy may have something to do with it. That, or the rumor about abnormal reapers."

Byakuya's eyes narrowed.

"Abnormal reapers?"

"Ah, yes, you might be a bit young for this. Abnormal reapers are the shinigami who are not under the Gotei 13's rule. They use different techniques and generally vary from region to region. They often review records to see whether or not a human should live or die, unlike those of us who just collect souls. I've heard a few rumors that there might be one or two in this area, but I have no evidence to support my claim."

Byakuya raised a hand to his chin.

"Hm… It's a good idea to keep in mind. Thank you."

Ukitake nodded.

"Oh, and are you still considering requesting forces at Ouran Academy?"

Byakuya remained stoic-faced.

"Perhaps. There have been suspicious movements of other organizations concerning Ouran, but as of now it's of no threat to Soul Society."

Ukitake smiled.

"I'll leave things in your hands then."

He turned toward the door, reaching for the doorknob as Byakuya addressed him.

"Are you going back today?" The clan leader asked.

"Yes, I have a meeting with the commander." Ukitake admitted over his shoulder. "I'll be going now so you can resume your duties here. Good luck."

With that, the white haired man opened the door and left, leaving Byakuya to ponder the state of things spiritual and ideological around the Konoha region.

* * *

I wanted to make things a bit more light-hearted in this chapter, but a lot of the plot just wanted to be heard.

I miss the Hosts though...

If there are any inconsistencies with series' concepts or anything, feel free to let me know. Of course I've altered a few of them to work with other ideas for this story (Ex: The shinigami).

And, for some reason, I just love imagining Kyoko and Ichigo together. Not in a romantic relationship, but just because of the contrast I think. Ichigo radiates cool, tough guy vibes while Kyoko's either oozing sparkles from every pore in her body or surrounded by swarms of demons...

_Guys, what do you think of Ichigo-kun?_

Naruto: Ichigo's pretty cool! He can beat up mobs with his bare hands and come out unscathed. Someday I'll beat him in arm-wrestling though.

Rin: Man, Ichigo's so tough! He gets in more fights than I do and barely gets hurt! Plus everyone thinks he's cool! He's really smart too... *kinda jealous*

Yukio: Ichigo's pretty strong in a fight, but he's also very smart. He rarely lets his emotions control him unless someone he cares about is in trouble. Rin could stand learning a lesson or two from him.

Kyoko: Ichigo's like an action hero! He's so cool and tough it's like he jumped out of an old school movie. I hope I can be as dependable as he is.

Haruhi: The Host Club tried recruiting Ichigo, despite the fact that he doesn't go to school there... I appreciate all he does for everyone. Sometimes he disappears though, which is kind of worrying. Plus, Dad stays up all night or however long sobbing about his 'most attractive tenant and best bet at getting into our neighbors' good graces' being gone.

* * *

Next Chapter: More on Kyoko and Haruhi, Hidan and Itachi's jobs, Kenpachi?

* * *

*Thank you for reading!*

(And good luck if any of you are doing NaNoWriMo!)


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